


Don't let the dead bite

by Ravensoul93



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone (Walking Dead), Apocalypse, Death, F/M, Killing, Loss, On the Run, Prison (Walking Dead), Slow Burn, Survival, Terminus (The Walking Dead), The Greene Farm (Walking Dead), The Hilltop (Walking Dead), The Sanctuary (Walking Dead), Walkers (Walking Dead), Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27299878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravensoul93/pseuds/Ravensoul93
Summary: After coming home from her trip to Afghanistan, combat medic Rachel Thompson thought she had seen all the carnage and cruelties a war had to offer. She thought wrong. Not two days into her vacation she gets called back in and sent to Atlanta to provide medical assistance during getting the hold of some infection induced riots that had completely gotten out of hand. If she had only known that horror show was just the beginning of an endless nightmare…
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 56





	1. Atlanta heat

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original plot or characters, everything else is mine.  
> I also am not that familiar with the US military, so forgive me any mistakes I made.

“What’s up Cole? I got only a minute, I’m heading out for groceries.” There was a short pause on the other end of the line.  
“ _Hate to break it to you Rachel… You’re getting called in. Car is already on the way to pick you up_.” I let out an involuntary groan and dropped down at the kitchen table.  
“You do realise I just came back from Afghanistan two days ago, do you? Did you even try to keep my name out of the pool?”  
“ _Yes, I am aware of that. Thing is, there was no pool of names this time. You’re getting called in with everybody else available. I can’t give you the specifics yet, I got a bunch of more people to call back from vacation and retirement… Car will be there in ten_.” I let my head fall to the table when Cole killed the connection. This was just great… I just came back from my first tour to Afghanistan as a combat paramedic and was looking forward to one month of civil life. I picked up my phone and walked back up the stairs to retrieve my backpack to throw back in my clothes I had just put into the drawer. Walking up the stairs I dialed my mom’s phone, hoping they weren’t in the car yet.  
“Hey mom, it’s Rachel. I hope you get this before you leave for Savannah… I just got called back in, I can’t tell you anything else right now. So if you get this in time, turn back home, we will meet when I am back. If you are already on the road before you get this, the key to the house is in the usual spot. I love you, bye.” This was strange, my mom always answered her phone… I mused over it while packing my stuff.  
I quickly stripped off my clothes and got into my army pants and a dark tank top and pulled on my combat boots. Since I didn’t know what was going on, I thought it was better to be prepared for being dropped off somewhere near the action without any time to change. I went back downstairs, quickly checking the time and went straight to the basement, pressing my phone to my ear again.  
“Come on… Answer your damn phone…” I grit my teeth together and opened the safe I had my weapons stashed in. Even if I was a paramedic, I went through basic combat training and had my own guns and assault rifle. Something that might seem strange to most outsiders I met when I was home but I was still a trained soldier.  
“Fuck you Adam! I can’t neither reach mom or you! I am called in, so would you please have the courtesy to get off your sorry ass and get my dog for the time I am gone!” I pocketed my phone, still grumbling. What was it with my family today of all days?

I came back up the stairs when the doorbell rang. Grabbing my backpack, keys and sunglasses from the table I went to the front door. There was a grim looking man in his late forties on my front porch. He gave me a once over while I closed up my door and put the key in the flower pot for my mom and brother to find.  
“Sorry we had to cut your vacation short Thompson.” I shrugged my shoulders.  
“I knew what I signed up for, Frank.” Getting into the truck I wasn’t surprised to be met with two more familiar faces. We all lived in Savannah and the surrounding area so it came at no surprise they would throw us together in one truck.  
“Cole tell any of you what all the fuss is about?”  
“Nope. Just said we were all called back in. Even those who already retired, so there must be some crazy shit going on.”  
“But why does nobody know ‘bout it a’ready?” I listened to the men rambling about.  
“I’d say it is something really bad. Maybe they didn’t inform the public to avoid panic…” I let out a frustrated sigh after pocketing my phone again. No message from any of my family.  
“Hey, Thompson. What got your panties in a knot?” I glared at Ray.  
“My panties are your concern when hell freezes over! Apart from that I can’t get a hold of my family. Which isn’t normal at all…” Ray had raised his hands in surrender.  
“Sorry for asking. Man, you’re grumpy today…”  
“And you wouldn’t be in a situation like that?”, Frank cut in and while the conversation continued I looked out the window while we were heading for Fort Stewart.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“If everyone would calm down now!” Cole’s, or rather Sergeant Cole Newman’s, voice called everyone to silence. He stood before our small group from Savannah and around seventy more people, more filling into the yard every five minutes.  
“I am aware that we aren’t at full number yet but I will explain this now so we can get the first teams out as soon as possible. I apologise on behalf of the government to all we had to call back from vacation or retirement but there was no other option at this point. After this meeting you will be paired up in groups of six and prepare for the flight. As to why it is a bit more complicated since even we haven’t all the information at this point. I won’t sugar coat it, the situation is complicated at best. There has been an outbreak of an unknown epidemic that has caused a lot of riots and violent outbreaks in all major cities on the east coast. Since we are one of the closest major military bases on this side of the country we will be assisting the local forces in the bigger cities in a 300 mile radius. Before there are any questions, I know we normally don’t intervene in such numbers but the situation is threatening to get out of control. This morning we already lost contact to our people in Jacksonville and have no idea what is going on there.” I felt my stomach drop a little. Jacksonville wasn’t that far from Gainesville where my parents lived. Around me discussions broke loose about this epidemic. It was nothing new that the military would get called in every once in a while when local law enforcement was close to losing control over a situation, especially when it came to medical or security problems.  
I looked up again when my name was called out together with Marshall, a guy I served with in Afghanistan, Frank and three men I didn’t know. Before we left for preparations my name was called again.  
“Thompson! I need you in Atlanta not only for your medical skills but also with your weapons at the ready.” I nodded at Cole’s words. So the situation was that bad... 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I pressed against the wall of the building we had just rounded. I still couldn’t believe the horror show we had walked into. The riots had turned out to be a full blown apocalypse. Not as figuratively as one would think, this one was real.  
When the helicopter dropped us off in Atlanta we had gotten a short briefing before we were sent out into the streets. At first there hadn’t been anything unusual, or at least nothing I hadn’t seen before. People running around scared and confused, officials trying to get some order into the situations, the occasional gunshots ripping through the noise.  
The further we approached into the city, the stronger my feeling got that there was something really off. That’s when we first encountered… them. Walking as if they were drunk or physically impaired. They came towards us but we couldn’t see them well enough because of the dim light and the fading smoke of several smoke grenades. It took us some time to realise the sounds coming from them weren’t any words but growls and moans like from some rabid dog.  
One soldier from another group stepped forward, telling them to stop and stand down. I let out a shocked gasp when one jumped the young man and literally tore his throat out. I was even more shocked when shots were fired with no effect at all. Only when one bullet pierced through the skull did the attacker stop and drop, still holding on to the dying soldier. We tried fighting them off but more were coming out of every street and we were forced to slowly retreat. Only when we had managed to bring some distance between us did we realise what we were facing.  
“Epidemic my ass! This is fucking zombieland!”, Frank cursed next to me and it slowly sank in. He was right. This wasn’t normal. This was some horror show we had been plunged into without a warning.


	2. Survivors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything written in 'abostrophes' is a direct quote from the TV show's original dialouges. I might have, and will probably do so in the future, taken some of the dialouges into another context or left things out since adding my own character changed some situations a little.

Hopeless. Hopeless and numb were what I felt the most. At one point we had been caged in between hordes of the undead. No sense of direction, no connection to the other units. A situation that shouldn’t have bothered us so much but considering we were up against an enemy we knew nothing about and had no idea how to fight effectively. The ones that got bitten and could be retrieved developed a fever and died. If they only had stayed dead…  
It was hard putting a bullet in someone’s head you spent days fighting side by side with, sometimes it was even harder if it was someone you served with before and even considered a friend. We had slowly been numbered down and divided in smaller groups, each trying to survive on their own and somehow make it out of the city alive. Communication had broken down first, leaving us with no idea if there were still units sent in or if there was any effort to get us out. And as the days went by we slowly lost hope.  
The night the helicopters flew into Atlanta was by far the worst since this nightmare started. We heard the buzzing sound when they came in. At first we felt relieved, thinking they were getting us out. We thought wrong. Imagine our horror when they started dropping napalm onto the city grounds, burning everything alive and dead. I just couldn’t forget the smell of the burning flesh, couldn’t forget the screams, couldn’t forget as Frank shoved me out of the way and was burned alive in my stead.  
I had seen carnage, I had seen death but nothing quite like this. Most of the time I felt numb, unable to process what was happening as the dead kept coming at us day and night. I lost track of time and had no idea if it was days or weeks since we came to Atlanta. We were five people in our small group, trying to move during the day and stay put in the night. We soon came to realise most of our weapons were useless in the sense that they attracted too much attention. Searching the city we found other weapons, knives and so on. Raiding a run over military hold we took the weapons we found useful and the ammunition. I found myself some ammo for my Glock and a sniper rifle with a silencer which I thought might come in handy at one point. Before changing paths and becoming a paramedic, I had started sniper training but never finished. Still I was not that bad at hitting my target. Another thing I found was a compound bow and some arrows. All in all we tried to survive in the city, not sure if it was better to leave or if it was even worse on the outside. Not to mention that I was worried for my family, if they were still alive or…

Three days ago we lost two of our group, two cops who had been holding their ground up until then. Both had been bitten and we left them behind. The only other woman in our group couldn’t take it anymore and shot herself in the head yesterday.  
And here I was, waiting for Lou to follow me around the corner. We had heard a horse and some gunshots.Since we were traveling light I only had to throw the rifle back over my shoulder and grab my bow and hooked an arrow to be ready. My Glock was in my belt and the knives in my boots and Lou grabbed a machete he had obtained. We descended from our hideout back onto the streets and slowly made our way towards the noise, always covering each other's back. We had rounded the corner and stopped. Near an abandoned tank had formed a huge crowd of the dead and more were gathering due to the loud noises. I tapped on Lou’s shoulder and motioned towards the tank where we could see a man in a police uniform disappear while some of the dead were tearing apart the poor horse.  
“We need to help him…”  
“And how, Lou? Have you seen how many of them there are? I hate it as much as you do but what is the point in getting ourselves killed?” He dropped his shoulders and evidently felt as bad as I did. I hated it. Everything within me screamed that I needed to help but as I had stated, what was the point in running in half cocked and getting killed in the attempt of saving someone who was as good as dead. Something startled me. My eyes went wide.  
“Lou, there in the alley across the tank. You see that person?”  
“I’ll be damned. There are other survivors.” We looked at each other and decided it was worth the shot. We slowly made our way over, cutting down five of the dead in the process. We were almost there when suddenly the tank opened and police guy came out, killing the dead near the hatch and jumped down. I instantly realised he was making his way over to the alley, firing at the dead and attracting more attention towards him.  
I fired an arrow over his shoulder into the dead’s skull that had come up behind him and kept running towards the alley. A scream behind me let my blood freeze. I cast a quick glance to the side and saw Lou had a dead attached to his throat. He was done for. Without another thought I turned and reached the alley at the same time the cop did.

“‘Whoa! Not dead!’” The man I had seen in the alley before we made a run for it stood there with his hands raised. He gave me a puzzled look, same as the cop, before shaking it off quickly. “‘Come on! Come on! Back here! Come on! Come on.’” He ran towards the back of the alley and started up a fire ladder. Both the cop and I followed suit. One of the dead tried grabbing my ankle when I started climbing up and I brought the heel of my boot down into his face.  
“‘Yeah, whatever. Yeehaw. You’re still a dumbass.’” I didn’t really pay attention to the two men talking as we climbed the second ladder leading onto the top of the building. I looked back down, a little concerned about the amount of dead gathering beneath the ladder.  
“‘Are you the one that barricaded the alley?’” The asian guy, Glenn, turned around to face us.  
“‘Somebody did… I guess when the city got overrun. Whoever did it was thinking not many geeks would get through.’”  
“Probably military…” Both looked at me and I walked past them shrugging my shoulders. “What? Not all of us are just good at following orders.”  
“What’s her deal?” I heard them behind me as I made my way towards the far end of the rooftop to take a look onto the streets below us. The street was packed with the dead. Probably drawn in by the earlier screams of the horse and the gunshots fired.  
“Hey, army girl!” I turned back around and followed them down another ladder that led down to a side alley. Reaching the bottom Glenn pulled out a walkie-talkie.  
“‘I’m back Got two guests and four geeks in the alley.’” He led us down another staircase towards a door from which two people clad in protective gear came out, charging at the two nearest dead with baseball bats. I wasted no time getting my bow ready and shot the one coming at me straight through the left eye. I pulled the arrow out and followed Rick and Glenn inside what seemed to have been a store of some sorts.  
“‘Morales, let’s go!’”, one of the guys in the gear shouted at the other and both followed close behind me. I heard a clicking sound and turned in time to see a blonde woman pointing a gun in the cops face.  
“‘You son of a bitch. We ought to kill you.’” One of the men, Morales, and a black woman tried to calm the blonde down and get her to lower the gun.  
“‘Ease up? You’re kidding me, right? We’re dead because of…’” Even if I didn’t know the cop, I had about enough. I pulled out my Glock and put the barrel against her temple.  
“Why don’t you listen to your friends for one second? Lower. The. Gun. There is enough shit out there that is going to get us killed sooner or later, we don’t need people turning on the living because they are getting anxious.” Everyone looked between me and the blonde, who was called Andrea or at least the black woman had called her that. After another five second she finally lowered her gun and gave me a pissed look as I put the safety back on and put my gun away. Rick stated that he still didn’t understand why Andrea was throwing such a tantrum and the other guy from the alley answered.  
“‘Every geek for miles around heard you popping off rounds…’”  
“‘You just rang the dinner bell.’” Underlining her words, Morales pointed towards the glass doors on which a bunch of the dead were banging, trying to get in and to us. I zoned out a little while the others were discussing why Rick had been out in the streets. It worried me a little how many of the walking corpses had gathered at the store’s doors in the short amount of time. The doors wouldn’t hold them off for forever. I had seen it before and I didn’t intend to be here anymore when they came through.

A distant gunshot pulled me from my thoughts and put an end to the discussion around me.  
“‘Oh no. Is that Dixon?’”, Andrea huffed and I had a feeling I wouldn’t like whoever this Dixon was. I followed the others up some stairs to the roof of the building. Once I caught sight of the man in question, who was holding a sniper rifle in his hands and took shots at the dead on the street below, my previous thoughts were confirmed. He was a redneck and, judging by the arising conflict between him and the black guy from the alley, a racist and an asshole on top. He made some comments indicating he should be leading and everybody else was supposed to follow his orders since he was the man with the gun. I couldn’t stand people like him. Before this whole apocalypse scenario people like him had been at the bottom of the food chain. Outcasts and anarchists who thought themselves above everyone else, not serving any purpose in society. But now that society broke down people like him saw their chance to finally be on top of everyone else, no matter if they built their power on a pile of bodies…  
I was once more pulled from my thoughts when suddenly Rick hit the redneck on the head and cuffed him to a thick pipe while he was still a little disoriented.  
“‘Who the hell are you, man?!’”, he screamed in anger and pain at the former cop.  
“‘Officer friendly. Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There’s us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart.’” Dixon didn’t seem to get the picture. He threw insults towards the cop until Rick pulled out his gun and repeated his words from earlier about having a gun.  
“It’s no use, Rick. I know people like him. Words of wisdom and sense won’t take root with the likes of him. Just let it go.” The redneck’s eyes shot to me. He hadn’t recognised me up until now since I had stayed back a little to just watch the conflict in front of me play out for a while until I decided what I was going to do.  
“Look at that. Missy actin’ all tough an’ clever. Cut me loose and we might have some fun, sugar.” I gave him a disgusted glance. Things like that didn’t touch me anymore. I had heard it all.  
“You wouldn’t even know what to do with a woman like me, Dixon…” I just turned away from him and walked over to the edge of the roof where Andrea and the black woman were standing. I took a look over the ledge and wasn’t surprised that the redneck’s reckless shooting had attracted even more of the dead and the streets below started packing even more than before.  
“Fucking idiot…”


	3. Into the woods

I kept watching the streets below while behind me the men kept talking. Well in Dixon’s case it was less talking and more throwing some more insults to Rick and some more rude comments in my direction. I just tuned him out. Men like him had tried to degrade me and made me struggle for every ounce of respect ever since I joined the army.  
“‘My God, it’s like Times Square down there…’” Andrea had come up next to me and looked down as well. I watched her from the side. I couldn’t figure her out yet. She seemed to be short tempered and a little on edge all the time. Still she had only started mouthing off to Dixon once he had been secured to the pipe. So maybe she was more bark than bite.  
“‘How’s that signal?’” Morales had turned to the black guy, T-Dog, who was still working around the walkie-talkie.  
“‘Like Dixon’s brain… Weak.’” I bit back a comment. It was funny how everybody seemed to be less intimidated by the redneck since he wasn’t holding a gun to their face anymore. I was starting to wonder how people who were obviously so different from each other had managed not kill one another by now. Especially with some of them having a nervous trigger finger and low self control as it seemed.  
Rick agreed with Andrea that we were on our own since T-Dog couldn’t reach the rest of their group outside the city. It came as no surprise that Dixon had something to say to that as well, stating we wouldn’t get out anyways and was now making a pass at the blonde still standing next to me. I couldn’t help the snort escaping me.  
“What’s it, sugar. You jealous? Bet we could make room for an extra set of legs.” He looked me up and down again with a look that made me want to vomit.  
“As I said before, short buzz. You wouldn’t be able to handle me. And as long as there is any other living creature on this godforsaken planet, I wouldn’t even consider spreading my legs for you.” For a second his face fell before he gave me another of his grins.  
“You’ll wish for me to pay you a visit, sugar tits.”  
“You’re right. I can barely contain myself not to jump your bones.” Andrea broke into a short laugh.  
“Oh, I think I like her. She doesn’t take shit from anyone.” I raised my eyebrows. Not half an hour ago she would have killed me for putting a gun to her head and now she acted like we were friends already?

Before I could put more thoughts on it, Rick asked if there was maybe a sewer system that could get us out of here, rather than having to get back to the streets. Him, Morales and Glenn exchanged some thoughts on how to get to the entrances on the crowded street below when the black woman interrupted them.  
“‘... Old buildings like this built in the ‘20s… Big structures often had drainage tunnels into the sewers in case of flooding down in the subbasements.’” Glenn looked at her with curiosity.  
“‘How do you know that?’” She explained that she had worked for the city zoning office and so she knew a lot about older buildings and what was different in comparison to modern ones.  
So we all, minus Dixon, headed down to the basement to take a look at the situation there. Once we were all standing around something that must have been the entrance to the sewer system Morales asked if we were sure that this was it, to which Glenn responded that while looking around this had been the only way in the building leading down. When he asked who would even want to go down there everyone looked at him.  
“‘Oh. Great.’” He looked a little shaken that obviously everyone was expecting him to go down and check out the entrance.  
“‘We’ll be right behind you.’” I gave Andrea a sceptical look and Glenn started to violently protest which the blonde couldn’t understand at all. Rick encouraged Glenn to speak what was on his mind, why he didn’t want anybody, or at least Andrea, down there with him.  
“‘Look, until now I always came here by myself… In and out, grab a few things… No problem. The first time I bring a group… Everything goes to hell. No offense. If you want me to go down this gnarly hole, fine… But only if we do it my way. It's tight down there. If I run into something and have to get out quick, I don't want you all jammed up behind me getting me killed. I'll take one person… Not you either. You've got Merle's gun and I've seen you shoot. I'd feel better if you were out in that store watching those doors, covering our ass. And you've got the only other gun, so you should go with him. You be my wingman. Jacqui stays here. Something happens, yell down to us, get us back up here in a hurry.’” I cleared my throat. Glenn had turned to Morales to go down with him.  
“Your plan isn’t bad and I get your point about not bringing too many people down there just in case… But you forgot about me. No offense but I am smaller than Morales and I might be able to cover your back a little better. I’ll leave my rifle and bow with Jacqui if she is okay with that, I still got my knives and Glock.” Everyone looked at me in surprise. I hadn’t talked that much up until now and that might have been the reason why Glenn had totally forgotten that there was someone else who carried a gun.  
“No offense taken. I think she is right. She is army after all, so who better sent down with Glenn?” Morales clapped his huge hand on my shoulder and nodded. Andrea gave me another sideways glance. She seemed a little upset that she wasn’t trusted to go down to the sewers but the new girl, still she didn’t say a word. Jacqui, the black woman, agreed to take my weapons that were too bulky for the undergrounds for safekeeping until I came back.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You really don’t need to. Morales can do it just as Glenn said.” I shook my head at Rick.  
“I know I don’t need to do it and I appreciate your concern, Rick. But someone needs to go down with him. And I’d rather be the one to do it instead of someone with a nervous trigger finger or a family still attached.” Since the discussion was closed for me I didn’t waste any more time. I dispersed my rifle and bow and lowered myself through the opening down into the tunnel before anyone could stop me.  
Above I could hear someone saying something about me having more guts than most men and I couldn’t help the smile as Glenn came down to join me. I had never considered myself exceptionally brave. I just would rather act than stand by and let others decide.  
“What are you smiling about?”  
“Nothing. Come on tough guy, lead the way.” Glenn rolled his eyes and walked past me. We followed the tunnel for a while, the only creature we encountered on the way was a rat that had Glenn almost screaming like a little girl. After a few minutes we reached a large grate. I let my flashlight wander over it, trying to find some weak point while Glenn mused if we might be able to cut through it.  
“Maybe if we had a blowtorch… Still it would take too much time. I guess that’s a dead end.” I jumped back in surprise when suddenly a dead chewing on a rat appeared behind the grate and tried to grab us from the other side.  
“Can we go back now?” I looked at the asian.  
“Sure. There is nothing left here for us to do.” We turned and left the dead and the grate behind. When we came back up, Jacqui was still waiting for us. She handed me my weapons back and I felt better already with the now familiar weight of the bow in my hand. Together we walked back up to the front of the store where we were met with the shattering noise of breaking glass.  
“Find anything?” I shook my head no at Rick, keeping my eyes on the dead that were slowly entering through the glass door they had broken down.  
“‘We need to find a way… and soon.’” I looked at Andrea and could see the fear and dread in her eyes.  
“We will get out. All of us.”, I stated with more confidence than I felt in that moment. Rick gave me an appreciative nod and motioned for us to retreat and join the other back on the roof.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

About half an hour later we were all back down in the store after Rick had finally had an idea on how to get us out. Meaning he wanted to gut one of the dead we had killed in order to reach the store to cover up his scent so he could make a run for the abandoned construction side and the vehicle there.  
“‘If bad ideas were an Olympic event, this would take the gold…’” I silently agreed with Glenn, this was by far the dumbest idea I had ever heard of. Even if the general thought might have been right, it was straight out suicidal. But without a surprise nobody had listened when I made my concern about this “plan” known. Still I couldn’t just let the cop run off.  
I covered the entrance with my bow while they grabbed the now really dead body and hauled it back inside. I excused myself from joining in chopping the corpse to pieces and smearing the fluids and entrailes all over Glenn and Rick by stating someone needed to keep watch on the glass doors. It wasn’t so much that I couldn’t have stomached cutting into an already rotting body, it was more that I refused to let my humanity slip by cutting into somebody who could have been a father, a brother, a husband. It would have meant to acknowledge that we met mankind’s demise and I still clung to the dwindling hope that we somehow would survive and see the end of this horror show any time soon.  
Before the two made their way outside, Rick approached me once again.  
“How good are you with that rifle?” I gave him a cautious look before answering.  
“It’s been a while. But I should still be able to hit my mark over 500 yards. Why?”  
“I would feel better knowing you are on that roof covering our backs in case this thing goes south…” I grimaced and bit back the comment about how I told him so beforehand. I gave him a short nod and turned to head back up the stairs.  
“Where is she going? What did you say to her?!” Andrea’s aggressive voice followed me up the staircase. I groaned and rolled my eyes. I never got along with women like her. Loud, nosy and despite their attitude deeply self conscious.

“Wait up!” I heard heavy footsteps behind me and looking back I saw T-Dog following. When he reached me he just gave me a short nod and together we moved on. I appreciated him not trying to force me into a conversation, God knows I had other things to worry about right now. It wasn’t a lie that I should be able to hit my target over a larger distance, the question was how many times I would miss…  
Pulling the rifle from my back I walked past Dixon who was going on about what I was up to and some more lewd comments on my behalf. I just blocked him out, same as the others slowly filling back into the roof. I walked straight up to the stone railing and looked down. It took me a few seconds to make out the point where Rick and Glenn should come out any minute now. I set up my rifle and cleared my head as best as I could, trying to shut out all the noise around me and even out my breathing. I knew the two down in the streets had put a lot of trust in my abilities in case anything went wrong and I didn’t want to let them take the fall for me not being ready.  
I had no idea for how long I watched Rick and Glenn make their way through and among the herd down in the street. I was completely oblivious to what happened behind my back. If I had paid any mind to it I might have found myself tempted to give Dixon another piece of mind and eventually shut up Andrea for good.  
I flinched when suddenly something wet dripped onto my left cheek and a few seconds later I realized it had started to rain.  
“Fuckin’ shit! That can’t be good…”, I mumbled more to myself than to anyone in particular. Keeping a close I on our companions in the street I soon was proven right as the dead seemed to be more and more interested in them as the guts started to slowly wash off. The same second Rick raised his axe to fight off one of the corpses that had come too close, I took aim at one that had gotten too close to Glenn’s back and pulled the trigger. Thanks to the silencer there wasn’t much noise as the bullet left my weapon and embedded itself in the dead’s skull. With practiced ease I discarded the empty shell and replaced it with a new one, getting ready to fire again within seconds. I took down three more dead until Rick and Glenn reached the fence and went over it and around the corner out of my sight.

Relaxing my body a little and slowly standing back up the world around me seemed to finally catch up. I felt the last of the raindrops on my face and the slight shiver from the wind on my wet skin.  
“Damn, girl… Should have found you sooner.” I looked over at T-Dog. He looked at me like I was some kind of heroine, which I clearly was not.  
“Guess we now get at least one pair of titts that is able to handle the weapon in her hands.”  
“You know, Dixon… That might have been the first half way intelligent thing I’ve heard from you all day.” Before he had the chance to get back at me, Andrea shouted.  
“‘They’re leaving us.’” I walked up to her and slapped her right across the face when she turned towards me. She gasped and gave me a shocked and pissed look.  
“They aren’t leaving us behind. Use your fucking brain and eyes! They are drawing the dead away from the building, so they can get us out of here!” Proving me right, the big white truck was turned around and headed back towards us.  
“‘Those roll-up doors at the front of the store facing the street… Meet us there and be ready.’” Glenn’s voice was heard over the walkie-talkie and I made haste to usher the others down the stairs. I was the last to leave after a short debate of T-Dog having the keys to the handcuffs still securing Merle to the roof, resulting in him staying behind and freeing the redneck. I told him to be quick about it and followed the others.  
Down in the store I noticed there were a few cracks in the last glass door separating us from the remaining dead. I rushed past the doors to the back where the others were now standing near the back entrance and the roll-up doors.  
“Move!” I shoved Morales lightly and he helped me push up the door just in time to see Glenn was passing by us in a flashing red sports car, drawing away most of the dead so Rick was able to pull up with the truck. I waited until everyone was inside and kept an eye on the few remaining corpses. The same second T-Dog arrived next to me, I heard the shattering noise of the front doors giving in and the loud and hungry growls. I gave the man beside me a push that had him almost falling into the back of the truck.  
“Go!!!”, I screamed at the top of my lungs and Rick pushed down on the gas with screeching tires by the force of it. With a last glance back I jumped. I gasped when I felt myself slip, luckily Morales got a hold of my arm and janked me towards him and inside.  
“Thanks…” He nodded at me and closed the doors in time to prevent the nearest of the dead following me in. I looked around. Everyone was there. Andrea, Jacqui, Morales, Rick, T-Dog… Merle!  
“Where the fuck is Dixon?” I whirled around to the man that was supposed to cut him loose.  
“‘I dropped the damn key…’” I looked at T-Dog in disbelief.  
“Turn around. We need to get him.” As much as the redneck annoyed me, we couldn’t just leave him there to die.  
“Are you insane?! He wouldn’t come back if it was one of us! We barely got out and you want us to risk our lives for that piece of shit?!” I got right into the blonde's face and she jerked back a few inches.  
“He is still alive. He is one of us. I don’t care what you got to say but we don’t abandon our own! And I don’t take orders from someone too afraid to use her gun and just keeps mouthing off without actually doing something.”  
“Rachel… We can’t go back. I am sorry.”  
I looked at Rick’s face through the rearview mirror. He didn’t like leaving someone behind more than I did. I had no respect for Dixon, still as I had said he was still human. And who were we if we abandoned our own kind?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

I don’t recall how long the drive was. At one point I must have dozed off while curled up in the passenger's seat. I was a little confused and grabbed my knife on pure instinct when someone touched my shoulder. Jacqui looked at me with wide eyes when suddenly my hunting knife was against her throat.  
“Just wanted to let you know we are almost there, honey.” I nodded at her and apologized for being so jumpy. I rubbed my face and took a look outside the window. Green. Green and calm. I would have almost cried at the sight of the forest around us. It was a sight I hadn’t hoped to ever see again and for the first time in weeks I felt safe. Or at least as safe and calm as one could feel in a tense situation like that.  
“You okay?” I looked to my left at the former cop and nodded.  
“Yes. It’s just I didn’t think I’d ever be so glad to see trees in my life. I haven’t felt that calm in a while now. Not since all of this started…” He gave me a small smile and squeezed my shoulder before returning his eyes on the road.  
A few minutes later we pulled up on a small path next to the tree lines and short of a vast clearing. There were cars, trailers and people. A lot of people. I felt my anxiety go up again. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust people in general, it was more that I wasn’t used to so many people in one place anymore. Everyone slowly got out of the truck when Morales told us to get out and get to know everyone. It took me a few more minutes to actually get my door open and step outside.  
“‘Daddy!’” A boy with brown hair launched himself at Rick. Both crying and hugging each other. I felt a sudden pang in my chest as I stood there next to the truck like some intruder to the heartwarming family reunions all around. Andrea was hugging another blond girl close, apparently her sister by the looks of it. Morales was wrapped up by his own small family and Rick was sitting on the ground, his arms around his son and wife. I was happy for them. Still it hurt when I had no idea where my own family was or if they were even alive at this point.


	4. The other Dixon

The feeling of relief, once Glenn pulled up in the red sports car and once Shane turned off the obnoxious beeping of the alarm system, was immediately spreading throughout the camp. Once he told them everybody was alive and coming back the comotion died down. A few moments later the big white truck pulled up and everyone got out. Amy almost jumped into her sister’s arms, only slightly wondering about her split lip. Morales was soon wrapped in a hug by his wife and kids. The only one not happy was Carl. He watched everyone hugging their loved ones close, feeling sadness creep up. His father wasn’t going to come back, he knew that. Still it made the boy cry at the hurt that filled his little heart. His mother got down in front of him, trying to somehow comfort him while Shane stood by the sports car and watched them.  
He knew it was wrong in more than one way. Lori had been his best friend’s wife and Carl was Rick’s son. He felt bad for having fallen in love. He felt bad for sometimes being glad his friend died in that hospital. He knew it was wrong but they were his family now and one day Carl might even call him dad…  
Shane flinched when Carl suddenly ran off with a loud scream, towards a man he hadn’t thought he would ever see again. Sure T-Dog and Morales had told them they found two people that helped getting them out of Atlanta but he wasn’t prepared for this. Rick. His best friend was alive. He violently shook off the feeling of loss as he watched the former cop embrace his wife and son, both still not sure this was really happening. This just changed everything, and for him it wouldn’t be for the better as it seemed. His best friend was alive and completely oblivious to what had transpired between Lori and Shane.  
“Didn’t you say something about two people?”, Dale asked and Glenn seemed to remember something.  
“Hey, Rachel! Come on over!”, he shouted towards the truck. Shane was taken a little aback by the person that stood awkwardly next to the vehicle. A woman. Short, maybe around 5’4, with long and curly dark blond hair that was pulled into a loose ponytail. She was clad in army pants and a dark tank top, a sniper rifle strapped over her back and a compound bow in her right hand. He didn’t know what to think as his eyes traveled over her body. She had something intriguing about her, her very feminin body standing in stark contrast to her general appearance.  
“Come on, army girl. Nobody’s going to try and take a bite out of you.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Come on, army girl. Nobody’s going to try and take a bite out of you.” Still feeling a little awkward I looked towards Glenn who was waving me over to where he was standing with two other men. I slowly walked over, very aware of everyone staring at me. It made me anxious, I hated all attention being on me. Glenn gave me a big smile and pointed at the older man to his right.  
“Meet Dale…” Dale gave me a heartwarming smile and I took his hand and nodded politely at him. “And this is…”  
“Shane.” Before Glenn was able to finish introductions he was interrupted by the second man with the black curls. I hesitated taking his hand, for whatever reason he made me feel uneasy. Even more so than Dixon had. Him I was able to handle but the way Shane looked at me had me feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.  
“Rachel.”, was my short reply. I wanted to end this conversation as fast as possible. I turned slightly as Rick and his family approached us. He passed by me with a soft smile and embraced Shane. _So they know each other… This is going to be interesting _. My thoughts were put to a stop by Rick now turning his attention back on me.  
“Rachel, I want you to meet my wife Lori and my son Carl.” With a shy smile I looked at both of them and was a little surprised as Lori pulled me into a hug.  
“Thank you. Thank you for bringing him back to me.” Hesitantly I answered her embrace and smiled down at the boy.__

__

__Two hours later darkness had fallen and all living in the camp had gathered around a small fire. Rick had his son lying across his lap and an arm around his wife. I was sitting across the fire next to T-Dog, whose company I greatly enjoyed. He was calm, funny at times but never prying too much in his questions. I absentmindedly played with the thin chain around my neck while Rick was talking to Dale and Shane about Atlanta. I had tuned it out a little, not wanting to think about when the city fell.  
I silently watched as Shane suddenly got up and walked towards a second campfire a few feet away from us and started lecturing the bald shaven guy about keeping the fire low. I had briefly spoken to the guy’s wife earlier. Carol, a shy and somehow even jumpy woman. From what I could tell she was sweet or would have been if not for that husband of hers. From the way she acted and held herself around him it wasn’t that hard to make out their kind of relationship. Abusive. Controlling. And their daughter wouldn’t be better off than her mother once she reached womanhood I feared.  
“‘Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind.’” I looked up at Dale, only subconsciously registering that Shane had sat down next to me now instead of next to Rick and his family again.  
“Dixon? You mean to tell me there is another Dixon and we just left behind his brother? You gotta be kidding me…” T-Dog looked at me for a second.  
“It’s not like it was your fault… I was the one to drop the damn keys.”  
“Yeah. And does that make me any better? I still didn’t go back for him like I said we should. He might be a racist and an asshole, still he didn’t deserve something like that. And if his brother is anything like him, what do you expect him to do should you choose to tell him it was your fault? You want a bullet in your head?” Everyone was now looking at me and I nervously pushed the log in front of me further into the low flames with my boot.  
“Sorry. I don’t suppose I am in any position to question the dynamic in this group or the decisions you make. I’m just saying. Even if I don’t always get along with my brother I’d still would want to have the person responsible for leaving him to die to pay for it…” After that I kind of spaced out a little while the others kept going on about whether or not and how to tell the other Dixon. Thinking about my own family left a bitter taste in my mouth and I started playing with my necklace again.  
“Whose dog-tags are those? Your father’s?” I looked at Shane a little confused and shook my head.  
“Your brother’s then? Or your boyfriend’s?” I was getting a little annoyed with the other ex-cop assuming those were someone else’s tags.  
“No. They are mine. Glenn doesn’t call me an army girl just because I dress the part.” I noticed other’s looking at us out of the corner of my eyes. Shane held up both hands in surrender.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. You just seem a bit young and fragile for being in the army.” I raised my eyebrows.  
“Believe me, I am a lot tougher than I look. I was a combat paramedic, just came home from my first tour to Afghanistan a few days before the world went to shit. And 27 isn’t that young.”  
“Tough doesn’t even begin to cover it. You survived Atlanta for weeks and helped get us all out in one piece. In my book that is something a lot of men wouldn’t have been able to pull off.”, Rick cut in from the other side of the fire and silenced his best friend before he even opened his mouth again. Lori looked at me with wide eyes.  
“You were there when they set the city on fire?” It was more of a statement than a question and I nodded.  
“Yes, I was there. I was there to see my comrades and friends get eaten alive or burned by our own men. The things I saw… I’m sorry…” I jumped to my feet and quickly walked away from the light and warmth. I needed air._ _

__I stopped at the tree lines and leaned against the rough bark with laboured breathing. This was the first time I felt the full weight of the past weeks wash over me. The loss, the panic, the anxiety and the exhaustion. I felt hot tears run over my cheeks as I stared up at the stars.  
“Hey, kid. You okay?” Dale had followed me and crouched down in front of me. I brushed over my face and nodded at the elder man.  
“Yes. Reality just finally caught up with me I guess. I’ve seen so much death when I was overseas but this here… It is just different.” My voice was raw and I felt exhausted.  
“What is happening now doesn’t compare to anything we have ever seen. It seems this is just the first time since the outbreak for you to be able to really relax. You can sleep in my van tonight, until we can set up a better spot for you. If you like that is.” He gave me another soft smile and got back up. He held out his hand to me and I took it after a second or so.  
“I would like that if it really doesn’t bother you.”  
“Ah, nonsense. There is more than enough space for you.” I was grateful towards the old man for offering me a place to lay my head. Together we walked back to camp without further words being exchanged. When Dale sat back down with the others I continued towards the large van, not feeling like spending more time with the rest of the group. Inside the back of the van I quickly undressed and fell asleep before my head even hit the pillow._ _

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

__I woke up to the sound of birds and sunlight in my face. It took me a few moments to actually remember that it was still the apocalypse instead of some family camping vacation. As I slowly pushed back the blanket my eyes fell on a neatly folded stack of clothes that weren’t mine. On top was a short note.  
_I took the liberty to wash your clothes. Until they are dry I left you with some of mine, I hope they fit you. ~ Lori _I shook my head. She really didn’t have to do that. I put on the tight fitting blue jeans and a red tank top. At least Lori had left me my combat boots. After slipping my knives back into my boots and grabbing my bow I exited the van. I stopped for a moment and took a look around camp. Lori and Carol were taking care of the laundry. Glenn stood next to the red sports car with a pained face, watching Morales and T-Dog take the car apart while Dale clapped his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Andrea and her sister were doing whatever and Ed, Carol’s husband, was again lazyly sitting in his camping chair, occasionally giving his wife orders on how to hang his shirts. At the sound of a car arriving I looked up and decided I didn’t care when Shane got out of the car. I just couldn’t help feeling wary of that guy.  
Instead of helping to unload the water Shane had brought I made my way towards Lori. She was talking to Rick and apparently she wasn’t happy.  
“Hey Lori. Rick.” The cop nodded at me and his wife gave me a soft but faked smile.  
“Good morning, dear. Sorry for not waking you up for breakfast. There is still some left and you looked like you could use the proper rest.”  
“Thank you for letting me sleep. I don’t eat before noon anyways… I wanted to thank you for washing my clothes. You really didn’t need to do…” A piercing scream cut off my sentence. A second later another scream disrupted the calm and without thinking or waiting for anybody else I took off between the trees. A screaming child was never a good thing. Only a few seconds later Carl and Sophia, Carol’s daughter, came running towards me. I heard footsteps behind me, nonetheless I stopped Carl from running past me.___ _

____ _ _

____“What happened Carl?” He looked at me with wide and fearful eyes.  
“W-Walker. Th-There…” He pointed towards the direction both children had come from. I looked at Rick who had stopped next to us and he gave me a short nod. Cautiously we made our way around the group of bushes to where the kid had pointed us. There on a small clearing one of the dead, or walkers as Carl had called them, was feeding on a lifeless dear. A snapping twig had me whirling around and pointing my arrow right into Andrea’s face. With a gasp she held up her hands and I lowered my bow.  
I turned around to see the walker had switched its attention on us now and as it slowly stood up the men around us started to beat at it. Amy let out a shocked noise and at least Dale had the benevolence to chop off its head and put an end to this.  
“‘It's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain.’”, the elder man stated. I whirled around and again raised my bow when something snapped behind me and shuffled through the brush.  
“The fuck?!” I stared at the man who just emerged from the green with the same indifference as he looked at me and the arrow in his face. Dale’s low voice had him shifting his attention from me to the group and then the dead walker and the deer.  
“‘Son of a bitch. That's my deer! Look at it. All gnawed on by this… filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!’” Each of his words was accentuated by a hard kick against the rotten corpse. Again Dale, as always the voice of reason, told him to calm down which only resulted in the hunter lashing out at him verbally. When he asked if we could maybe still eat the deer if we cut out the section where the walker had been taking bites it was Shane who told him that that might not be the best idea.  
“‘Oh god…’” Amy looked down at the cut off head that started biting into nothing when the voices around raised. Everyone just stared at the moving head. Except for the hunter who raised his crossbow, ready to fire a bolt into the skull.  
“Jesus… How did you survive so long?”, I muttered and brought my boot down with enough force to immediately crush the skull beneath it. Amy instantly turned away and vomited into the nearest bush when the mixture of coagulated blood, smashed brain and some bone fragments hit her leg.  
“At least someone knows what they’re doin’...” His blue eyes held mine for a moment before the hunter turned and started walking towards the camp.  
“Was that really necessary?” Andrea got into my face and I raised my eyebrows at her.  
“Excuse me?” I had absolutely no idea what I did to make her come at me like that.  
“You couldn’t just let Daryl handle that? Did you really need to crush that head under your boot like you are some badass G.I. Joe?” I was slowly getting annoyed with the blonde and her attitude.  
“Sorry, I didn’t realise we were back to women fainting at the sight of blood and men doing all the dirty business. Let me just change back into my sunday dress and get behind the stove to make us all some fancy dinner!” Me snapping at her didn’t go unnoticed by T-Dog and Shane but both decided to stay out of it for now.  
“I don’t know who you think you are but things are different now. You are no longer in the army.” I felt tempted to slap her across the face again.  
“I don’t know who you think you are but you better stop that attitude, Andrea. I am sorry if it is hard for you to accept a woman being actually tougher than you act to be. Yes! I can see right through you. All that tough talk and attitude you give just so nobody can see how insecure and scared you really are. You might be strong but I bet you weren’t like that before this horror show started. A word of advice. As long as you don’t want me to put you in your place again you better stay out of my way unless you want to talk to me like a normal person!” I pushed past the blonde and quickened my stepps to catch up to the rest of the group._ _ _ _

____Up ahead I could make out Daryl with some squirrels slung over his shoulder walking just a few steps ahead of Shane._  
“Care to tell me what that was about?” I looked at Shane and then back forward.  
“Nothing. Just making my point.” He snorted at that.  
“Yeah, I could hear that much. Look, she is difficult when it comes to her sister…”  
“Not only then… Whatever. So who is he?” I nodded towards the hunter in front of us.  
“Daryl Dixon. Merle’s baby brother.” So this was the other Dixon. _Boy, this is going to be fun when they tell him about leaving behind his brother _..._____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't hate Andrea per se, I just never liked the attitude she was throwing sometimes. So I am sorry if someone isn't content with how my OC is acting around her but maybe some of you can understand and agree with me that Andrea is mostly acting like that out of insecurity.


	5. Redneeck rescue party

I slowed down a little when we reached the treelines and let myself fall behind Shane. Daryl was yelling for his brother, still oblivious to the fact that Merle wasn’t there.  
“‘Daryl, just slow up a bit. I need to talk to you.’” I watched the hunter turn around halfways, still a little confused and eyes in search of his older brother.  
“‘About Merle. There was a… There was a problem in Atlanta.’”  
“‘He dead?’” Dixon still seemed a little too calm to me for being told something had happened to his brother.  
“‘We’re not sure.’” I fought hard to keep in the snort at Shan’s reply. Given the circumstances under which we left Merle behind, it was awfully optimistic to state that we were just not sure.  
“‘He either is or ain’t!’”, Daryl now almost growled in annoyance. Rick joined in beating around the bush which only resulted in the hunter giving him a confused glance before he snapped at him who he even was.  
“Jesus Christ! Just give it straight to him or we will still be standing here when the first snow falls…” I bit my tongue when the hunter now fixed his eyes on me. I had planned on staying out of this. But as it often was the case, I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut for all it was worth. I had never been a fan of sweet talking around facts, it didn’t change the situation.  
“What’s she talking ‘bout? What happened to ma brother?!” He had turned back towards Rick and Shane gave me a look that basically told me to shut the fuck up. I pressed my teeth together so I would not give him a piece of mind. If they weren’t going to tell the redneck then I would, if it sat right with the ex-cop or not.  
“Don’t, sweetheart. Just don’t…” Shane’s words were cut off by Daryl coming at Rick, so I assumed he finally told him that he was the one to handcuff Merle to that roof. With some curses Shane got behind the redneck as he pulled out a knife with his eyes fixed on Rick. Within seconds they were both sitting on the ground, Daryl in a chokehold and Rick crouched in front of him. I didn’t get the words that were exchanged but I couldn’t help to roll my eyes in annoyance. Putting the hunter in a chokehold had been an unnecessary display of dominance on Shane’s part. It would have been enough to take the knife from him and just restrain his arms. _What did they expect him to do when they told him we left his brother to die? Ask them to help him gather some daisies _?  
Again Dixon’s eyes landed on me while I still stood there with my arms crossed over my chest and my bow now slung over my shoulder. Judging by the look he gave me, he had no idea what to think of me, whereas he seemed to have made up his mind about Shane and Rick.__

__“Fine! Let me up a’ready…” Slowly Shane let go of the man in front of him and with a pissed look the hunter shuffled back to his feet.  
“‘What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others.’” Daryl just rolled his eyes opening his mouth to get back at Rick.  
“‘It's not Rick's fault. I had the key. I dropped it.’” I looked at T-Dog and pinched the bridge of my nose with my left hand when another discussion broke loose with everyone else in the camp standing there and watching Daryl getting angrier and angrier again. Not that I’d blame him. I didn’t know him but I could understand his reaction. Hell I might have acted the same way if someone told me they dropped the key to my brother’s freedom and wellbeing.  
“‘Hell with y'all! Just tell me where he is so that I can go get him.’” I watched Daryl turn around with a huff as Lori told him with a disappointed look on her face that Rick would be showing him the way. I frowned slightly as the hunter stomped off and wondered what Lori’s game was. Did she just say that because she feared her husband would abandon her again or was there more to it? I couldn’t quite put my finger on what bothered me about their relationship, it just didn’t seem right. And what was it with those looks Shane and her sometimes shared? Weird was the only word I could put to that constellation.  
“You okay?” I gave T-Dog a small smile.  
“Sure T. Just thinking. There are some people I can’t figure out just yet.” He gave me a sideways glance when I started chewing on my bottom lip.  
“You’re going back.” I slowly nodded at his statement.  
“Yes. I need to. It is my fault he is still up on that roof. I could have gone back for him in the first place.”, I murmured, more to myself than the man beside me.  
“You know that I can’t let you go alone with that redneck to save his dumbass brother. I couldn’t look at myself if something happened to you while you cleaned up my mess…” I had to acknowledge T-Dog’s will to act and to clean up his so called mess, even if it was just some dumb accident since he didn’t lose the key on purpose.  
“I appreciate your concern, though uncalled. If I go it is my own decision and has nothing to do with anyone but my own pride and sense of moral. I’m gonna find my clothes, I don’t feel comfortable going back to the city in this tight fitting stuff Lori lent me…” With a little smirk at T-Dog for escorting me back I walked back towards Dale’s van, glad that I found my own clothes neatly folded in the chair in front of it. Since Lori was somewhere talking to her husband I figured I had to thank Carol later for bringing my stuff back. I grabbed the stack and got inside the van to change._ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

__He had stomped off in a fit when Lori, apparently that new guy’s wife, had stated her husband would bring him to his brother. Grumbling he threw the squirrels he had brought back to camp into the dirt at his tent’s entrance. He should have gone with them instead of scavenging the woods for food. Even that went to shit after that rotten bastard had dug his rotten teeth into the deer he had been tracking for hours!  
He grabbed a bucket of water and some cloth to at least wash off some of the dirt before it would start to irritate his skin too much. Sitting there in front of his tent and scrubbing off the dirt he took a look around camp. The ex-cop and his wife were arguing about something, Shane watching them from afar. He hated that bastard. Had hated him from the first minute. Sure he knew what he was doing and had kept the group together and mostly alive over the last weeks, still his dominant attitude didn’t sit well with the hunter. The two sisters were a case for themselves. Their personalities just didn’t match well with his own, especially Andrea’s, he’d rather keep to himself than get into business with those two. Ed was just plain stupid and would probably have died years ago if it wasn’t for Carol. While he didn’t like the way she and her daughter were treated, he wouldn’t interfere, it was not his business.  
A soft laugh had him turning back towards the treeline. There was another riddle. He narrowed his eyes as he watched the strange new girl walk towards Dale’s van accompanied by T-Dog. The idiot that dropped the damn keys and mostly responsible for leaving his brother handcuffed to a damned roof with walkers on the other side of a bolted door. The girl was different from the other women in the camp. She had something about her, that told him she wasn’t helpless and a nuisance. If he was honest he had been a little impressed when she had crushed that head under her boot without so much as blinking. The argument that followed hadn’t gone unnoticed by him as well. One thing was for sure, she didn’t take shit from anyone.  
He shook his head. What was it to him? He didn’t care for anyone but his brother. And he would get Merle whatever it took. They should have stayed on their own, like it had always been. Just the two Dixon brothers and nobody there to tell them what to do. He looked up again when the girl exited the van, obviously after having changed clothes. Rather than that stupid and much too tight jeans she was now wearing some loser army pants. As she stepped outside she just slipped a dark tank top over her head and bra and pulled it down over her stomach, not caring who was watching her. It didn’t go unnoticed how Shane was ogling her. That was new… Until two days ago the curly haired man had been practically glued to Lori. Not that he cared enough but that was strange. And for whatever reason he didn’t like the way Shane was looking at the new girl one bit._ _

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

__I had quickly discarded Lori’s clothes. While I appreciated her lending them to me until mine were dry, I just didn’t feel comfortable in them. After I put my pants and boots back on, I quickly slipped into my black sports bra. Gripping my sunglasses between my teeth I stepped outside while pulling my tank top over my head. I didn’t really care if anyone watched me standing there in my bra. Being in the army had taught me that privacy was some luxury that often couldn’t be achieved and so I didn’t care that much about it so long as all the important parts were dressed.  
Putting my glasses on to cover my eyes, I spotted Rick, Lori, Shane, Daryl and T-Dog standing together. Rick was back in his police uniform and the hunter had cleaned up a little. I walked over with my bow in hand and my rifle back over my shoulder, expecting us to leave soon after Daryl’s last statements.  
“‘So you and Daryl, that’s your big plan?’” Lori had her hands stemmed into her sides and was pouting at her husband who was trying to convince Glenn that he needed him to come back to Atlanta with him.  
“I am going too. I wanted to go back for that moron in the first place.” All heads turned to me, some in surprise, others, mainly T-Dog’s, not so much. Daryl gave me a questioning look, evidently not sure what to make of me and my statement yet.  
“Look, I am sure we could find something else around here for you…”  
“Sorry Shane for giving you the impression this was up for debate. I am going back for Dixon.” Shane glared daggers at me but before he could say something Andrea cut in.  
“Why would you do that? You don’t owe that asshole anything.” I looked at her for a second.  
“No, I don’t. Hell, I don’t even like him. But I don’t need to to help get him back in one piece. As I said yesterday: He is one of us and we don’t leave the living behind.” I just turned back around and walked towards the white van, assuming we would be driving in that. I had no intentions to stand there and listen to them discussing who should go and who shouldn’t. In all honesty I didn’t really care. The fewer people that tagged along the faster we could move within the city grounds.  
I felt the vehicle shift a little as someone got in through the back.  
“Why would you go back for ma brother?” I turned slightly around in the passenger's seat and looked at Daryl, noticing for the first time his bright blue eyes since we were so close now with him leaning forward between the front seats.  
“Because it’s the right thing to do. Nobody deserves to go out like that without a fighting chance.” His face remained expressionless and he bit the inside of his cheek.  
“Still don’t get why you would come along. And why Shane gets his boxers twisted about it…”  
“Shane can get his boxers twisted all he wants. I am no cop and no civilian so he can try pulling rank on me as long as he likes, it still won’t keep me from doing what I want.” Instead of answering the hunter’s eyes traveled down to my shirt’s neckline and before I could ask what he was looking at, he had pulled out my tags.  
“Lieutenant Rachel Thompson… Huh, explains a lot.” I felt a slight shiver run over my back when his fingers had touched my skin and was a little surprised when he suddenly let go of the thin chain as if he had burned his fingers._ _

__“Shit, what’s takin’ ‘em so long?!” With an annoyed expression he turned away from me and stomped on the horn. “‘Come on, let’s go!’”, he yelled out the back and gave the horn another stomp.  
 _Funny how two brothers can be so different, yet the same _… I mused while watching the redneck’s profile. He really was nothing like Merle with his longer and wild hair and those deep blue eyes. He would have actually been good looking if he cleaned up a little, with this bad boy/outlaw charm.  
“Somethin’ on ma face?” I snapped out of it and quickly looked in the exterior mirror on my side, in which I could see Rick and Shane. Rick made his way over and I cringed when Shane’s eyes seemed to find mine. T-Dog and Rick hopped into the back and I smiled at them in an attempt to take my mind off two men in particular, well aware of Daryl still watching me. Glenn jumped into the driver’s seat and we took off towards Atlanta.  
“Shane’s not happy about you going with us…” I snorted and focused on T-Dog.  
“Yeah, I figured that much. He can try telling me that face to face.” Glenn looked at me with a curious expression on his face.  
“Spill it, Glenn. I can hear the gears in your brain click together.” I smirked at the Asian and he scratched the back of his head.  
“Nothing. Just wondering…” I hummed to that but turned my gaze back out the window without saying anything else. The truth was that I hated the way Shane acted. He wasn’t my superior so I wouldn’t let him push me around. If he didn’t want me to go he should have said so, not that it would have made any difference. I let out a heavy sigh as we approached the city.___ _

____About twenty minutes later Glenn parked the truck outside the city limits near a chain-link fence.  
“‘We walk from here.’”, he stated matter of factly and we all got out one by one. I knocked an arrow into my bow just to be ready in case I needed it. We cut through the fence with the bolt cutters we had borrowed from Dale and a short discussion broke loose whether to retrieve the guns Rick had left behind in the streets or Merle on the rooftop first. Of course Daryl wanted to go after his brother first and after Rick asked for Glenn’s opinion we decided to pick up the guns on our way out.  
Getting back to the store we had been holding out inside wasn’t hard. Most of the herd had dispersed in search for food, leaving behind only a few walkers that we either dodged or took out. Short of reaching the store our way in was blocked by six of the walking corpses. Rick, Glenn and T-Dog attacked them with the knives and axes they had brought along while Daryl and I stayed behind to cover from a distance. Coming to a silent agreement with the hunter after I took out the first walker was easy. For whatever reason he seemed to be one of the few in our group to actually believe I knew what I was doing.  
“Down, Dixon!” I turned after seeing a shadow in my peripheral vision that was approaching Daryl from behind. The hunter ducked down the same second I let go of my arrow, embedding my arrow deep into the corpse's right eye. He looked at me and nodded. The only clue something wasn’t right were his blue eyes widening. Not half a second later I groaned when something grabbed my hair and pulled me back. I involuntarily had to follow the pull on my scalp, accidentally dropping my bow in the movement. I heard teeth snapping next to my ear and struggled to get free. My left hand tried to keep the head with the rotting teeth away from my throat while I tried reaching one of my hunting knives with the other hand. Rick, Glenn and T were too far away and focused on the walkers in front of them and Daryl I couldn’t see right now. Suddenly the pull on my stopped and I fell on my back with a gasp.  
“You gonna lie there all day?” I scoffed at the hunter standing over me and got back to my feet, ignoring his hand. He just shook his head and followed the others into the store.  
It was quiet inside, only one walker strolling around which Dixon took out real quick. We quickly proceeded up the stairs and onto the roof after T-Dog cut through the padlock he put on the door. I was the last one to walk out and felt my heart clench.  
“‘No! No!’” Daryl’s pain cut through me like a hot knife and I stared down on the ground next to the pipe where we had left Merle._ _ _ _


	6. Taken

I stared at the pool of blood before us, same as everyone else. I couldn’t help but wonder what would make someone cut off their own hand with a rusty hacksaw. Well maybe not all that much of a mystery, considering a trapped animal would bite off its own foot to get free. Glenn took discovering the severed hand of Merle the hardest, well apart from the emotional stress it put on Daryl. Of course after he was done screaming, Daryl turned on T-Dog and probably would have considered shooting him, hadn’t Rick put his own gun on the redneck.  
“Maybe we should all calm down. None of us is any help to Dyxon if we start putting rounds in each other's head.”, I mumbled and pushed past Glenn to take a closer look at the hand. I crouched down and tried taking a look without touching the hand itself.  
“Hey T. You got one of your bandanas with you?” I looked at him and he nodded, pulling one from his pocket and handing it to me. I cast him a small smile and picked up the hand with the cloth and looked at the blood crusted wound and then back at the pool of blood.  
“There is definitely not enough blood for him to have just cut it off…”, I mumbled more to myself than to anyone in particular.  
“‘He must have used a tourniquet… maybe his belt. Be much more blood if he didn't.’” Daryl took his brother’s hand from me and motioned for Glenn to come over so he could put it in his backpack. Glenn turned awfully pale as a reaction to that and I felt pity for him as I could still remember how I felt when I saw my first severed leg.  
“Hey. Keep breathing. Don’t think too much about it. Okay?” Glenn looked at me and gave me a thankful nod with his face still crunched up in disgust. I looked back at the hunter. He was following a thin trail of blood that had escaped my notice, with his eyes. We kept a little behind when Daryl followed the blood back inside the building, occasionally calling out for his brother and not giving a damn about who or what might get alerted to our presence. Eventually we found ourselves in a kitchen. What caught my eye immediately was the stove that had been used but was never turned off again.  
“‘What’s that burned stuff?’”, Daryl asked with his nose scrunched up.  
“Skin.” Rick and I answered as one.  
“‘He cauterized the stump.’” Daryl shot a grin at the former cop.  
“‘Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle.’” I couldn’t help the snort and tried covering it with a small cough.  
“What? Got somethin’ to say?”, the hunter snapped at me.  
“Nothing you’d want to hear…” In that second I wasn’t sure if he would do it but if I was a guy, I was sure I’d be missing at least one tooth by now. Next thing I know I have his face mere inches from mine and him looking down at me.  
“Think I would treat ya any different from all of the other idiots if ya keep talkin’ shit ‘bout ma brother?”  
“I don’t want to be treated any differently. I don’t need anybody to go easy on me, Dixon.” I unconsciously bit my lip. Maybe I should just have kept my mouth shut at this point. He was on edge already because WE left his brother behind and maybe I could relate to that. Me giving him bullshit was of no help here and I really should get my temper under control. But for the love of it all I was never one to just back down.  
Before Daryl could snap back at me, Glenn cut in. He was standing next to a smashed window and asked why Merle would leave the relative safety of the building.  
“‘Why wouldn't he? He's out there alone as far as he knows, doing what he's got to do. Surviving.’” He had a point there, Merle must have been sure we left him for good.  
“‘You call that surviving? Just wandering out in the streets, maybe passing out? What are his odds out there?’” I looked over at T. Even if he was right, I wasn’t sure how Daryl would take statements like that at this point.  
“‘No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you sorry pricks. You couldn't kill him. Ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard.’”, the hunter snapped back and got into T-Dog’s face like he had done with me before. Rick tried telling him that he should consider that Merle wasn’t up against only one or two walkers. Of course Daryl got pissed, resulting in him stating that he would go out there alone if he had to. He turned around, ready to follow up to his statement. Without thinking much about it, I reached for his hand to hold him back as he brushed past me.  
“I know we can’t make you do anything. But please think this through.” The hunter looked into my eyes for a split second before snapping his eyes down to my hand around his wrist.  
“Let go! What would you know about what me and my brother have or what I’d do to find him still breathing?!” My hand fell from him, he didn’t even need to pull away.  
“At least you have a small chance to find him! I don’t know anything about my family’s location or status! You want to run off half cocked? Be my guest.” I quickly turned away, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to fall down my face. Although he might not have been aiming to lash out like that, hell he didn’t know anything about me, still his words had cut right to my greatest weakness. Family. T-Dog put an reassuring arm around my shoulders and pulled me briefly into his side while Rick tried talking Daryl out of going out alone.  
“You okay?”  
“Yeah. Just give me a second to get my shit together, T.”  
“He shouldn’t have…”, I interrupted T-Dog before he could finish his sentence.  
“One, he didn’t know about my family. Two, he is riled up because we left Merle and he doesn’t know where he is or if he is still alive for that matter. The behaviour you see over there, it could be me. For fuck’s sake, I know how he feels because that is exactly the way I act in situations like this.” The man before me watched me with wide eyes, looking between me and the hunter several times.  
“Shit girl. You want to tell me you can be a pain in the ass like that redneck?” He gave me a small smirk.  
“I am worse. I got proper combat training.” I grinned back and turned around in time to catch the conversation having reached the point where the matter of the guns in the streets was up for discussion.

It took us several more minutes to convince Daryl that our strength was in our number. That chances of finding his idiot brother were higher if we worked together and for that we needed to get the guns out in the street, still where Rick dropped them when he retreated into the abandoned tank.  
Once we decided on retrieving the bag first, it didn’t take long for the decision that it might be best to send out Glenn since he was the fastest out of all of us.  
“‘Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't even like you much.’”, Daryl stated matter of factly and I nodded my head in silent agreement that this was nuts while Glenn drew a rough sketch of the perimeter.  
“‘Look. That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now. That's the bag of guns. Here's the alley I dragged you into when we first met. That's where Daryl and I will go.’”  
“‘Why me?’”, the hunter asked with furrowed brows.  
“‘Your crossbow is quieter than his gun. While Daryl…’”  
“I’m takin’ her with me.” A little surprised I met his eyes. Why would he want me with him? Glenn and the others seemed just as confused as myself at Dixon’s request.  
“Got a problem with that? I’d like to know someone is covering my ass if we go out into the open. Or did ya think ‘bout pairin’ her up with those two?” An awkward silence fell over our small group and I scoffed.  
“Fine with me. Where do Rick and T go?” I had no problem with covering the alley together with Dixon. Glenn explained that he intended for the two to cover an alley two blocks from the tank in case he wouldn’t be able to go back the same way he came.  
Once the plan was made we went down the ladder that we had climbed in order to escape the streets only yesterday. Luckily the general walker situation had improved a little, meaning the streets were less crowded with the dead. When my feet finally touched the ground we all took our positions. Glenn, Rick and T left together and split up at the entry of the alley. Dixon and I had our arrows at the ready and waited patiently for whatever was to come.  
“Hey, Dixon. Why did you want me with you?” I had been wondering ever since he had stated such.  
“You got more common sense than those dimwits.” I had expected a lot but not this answer. Before I could say anything else, Daryl put a finger to his lips and pointed to something down the alleyway. Someone, a mexican boy from the looks of it, had made his way towards us. Daryl pointed his crossbow at him which had the boy stop dead in his tracks, telling the hunter not to shoot him. Everything that followed happened really fast. One second Daryl tells him we were looking for his brother and the next second everything went to shit. The boy started screaming, thus having two effects. It drew in some stray walkers and two more men, mexican as well, came towards us. Next thing I knew was Daryl shoving me out of the way as the strangers started attacking him. While I was still trying to get my senses back under control, because I had bumped my head against the wall when the hunter knocked me out of the way, I could make out Glenn.  
I scrambled back to my feet when the Mexicans noticed Glenn with the bag of guns. They started yelling at each other to grab our companion. I tried blocking their way, convinced Glenn wouldn’t be able to put up any fight. The first one got past me due to my slowed movement and a second later a knife was on my throat while the others grabbed Glenn. Daryl cursed with his crossbow in hand, not able to get a clear shot at any of them without either hurting Glenn or me. What the man behind me didn’t expect was me reaching back, grabbing his head and ripping him downwards with my whole bodyweight. Surprised he let go of me and a second later an arrow was embedded in his behind. Still my little stunt hadn’t prevented Glenn from being shoved into a car and two of the Mexicans leaving with him. The third one, the boy, was left behind with us.  
Cursing them Daryl shut the gate to prevent walkers filling into the alley since all the comotion attracted them. While Daryl was yelling at the mexican boy, Rick and T-Dog came back to us. Both tried to calm down the furious hunter while I stood a little off to the side.  
I tasted blood in my mouth and when I brushed my thumb over my lower lip, it came back tinted red. _Great. Just what I needed. A split lip in a city full of dead shit trying to take a bite out of me_ …  
I looked up when my companions came back my way, Daryl dragging the boy behind him. Ric stopped in front of me and looked at my face with a little concern. I pulled my face from his hand and looked off to the side, pretending to watch the walkers in front of the closed fence. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Daryl’s face get hard when he caught a glimpse of my split lip. Rick tried pulling my face back towards him and I took a hold of his hand to remove it from my chin.  
“No big deal. I had worse.” It took another few seconds for him to finally let it slip.  
“Fine. We’re going back inside. Find something to clean that cut…” I followed behind the others, not wanting to give anyone or anything else the opportunity to sneak up on us. I didn’t get why Rick made such a big deal of my lip. I had been in much worse shape various times. He should have seen me in highschool…

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

While Rick had started questioning the boy, Miguel, once we were back in the lab where we had made our plan earlier, I had rummaged through the cabinets in search of anything useful. I had actually had some luck and found several bandages, some leftover antibiotics, a few gauze swabs and a small bottle of iodine. I walked back towards the others who were still interrogating the boy with rather poor success. I sat down my few findings and took up a broken shard of glass that reflected enough so I could see my face and what I was doing. I hopped up on one of the counters not destroyed or covered in debris.  
“‘Damn it, Daryl. Back off.’” I looked up briefly while pouring some iodine on one of the swabs to watch Rick push Daryl back a little and away from the boy. Muttering some insults the hunter trotted off a few steps. Not really in the mood to put up with that right now, I returned my gaze to my makeshift mirror and prepared myself for the sting that was sure to follow once I put the iodine on my open cut. I flinched when someone blocked the dim light and grabbed my wrist.  
“Let me help ya with that.” Surprised, I looked up. I hadn’t noticed the hunter had come over to where I was sitting.  
“I know what I am doing, Dixon.” My voice was barely more than a whisper. It made me insecure having him stand so close and towering over me.  
“I know.” Despite his words, he took the swab from my hand and nudged my knee a little for me to make some room. A little reluctantly I gave in. I hated the contradicting feelings I got from the situation. It felt kind of nice to matter enough to someone that they would care for you even if they knew you could do it on your own. The same second I hated how close the hunter was to me. The way he grabbed my chin and angled my head sent a tingling feeling over my skin, whether good or bad I couldn’t say yet. I hissed when he dabbed the swab against the open cut and he smirked.  
“Don’t you go soft on me now.”  
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” A second later I regretted the words. Something in Dixon’s eyes changed and he suddenly pulled away, leaving me feeling somewhat cold and alone.  
“Should clean it properly later. You’re good for now…” He turned away and walked back to rejoin the interrogation. I let out a sigh. _What is wrong with you? Since when has it been so easy for someone to order you around? Must be my hormones going haywire since it’s the end of the world and he is the only half decent guy left around… Come on, get your shit together, Rachel! You’re no teenage girl anymore and got bigger problems on your hand than a silly maybe crush_!  
I jumped down from the counter and walked towards the others, not wanting to miss anything important. Maybe also to distract myself from the feeling Daryl’s almost gentle touch had left behind.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He didn’t really know what had him so angry when Rick grabbed Rachel’s chin and he saw her bottom lip had split during her short fight with that Mexican piece of shit. Still he wanted to tear someone’s head off for it. He shook his head and turned his attention back on the boy. Great friends they were to just leave the weakest behind when they took Glenn.  
“Get moving, dipshit.” He shoved the boy forward, back to where they came from. He was aware of how close he had walked to the girl and hoped nobody noticed it. He cursed himself. He didn’t need people thinking he was going soft. Especially not because of some chick that wouldn’t even cast a look his way if the world was back to its normal rules.  
She had caught him off guard earlier when she grabbed a hold of his wrist and even before that. Back in camp when they had been alone in the truck as well. He hadn’t thought about doing it when the necklace disappearing inside her neckline had caught his interest and he pulled it out. It didn’t surprise him as much as it should have to find out the dog tags hanging from the thin chain had her name on them. It actually explained a lot to him about the way she held herself and didn’t take shit from Shane or Andrea. When he realised what he had done he had flinched back like a beaten dog and put his walls back up. He had never cared about anyone but Merle. And that wouldn’t change for a pretty face.

Back in the lab, Rick had started questioning the boy. He had told them his name but he didn’t care enough to remember it. Once things got a little heated he was ready to pounce on the smug bastard when he started talking bad about Merle’s name.  
“‘Damn it, Daryl. Back off.’” Rick had pulled him back in time before he had the chance to deliver a kick to the boy and shoved him back a little.  
“Yeah, whatever…”, he grumbled and got back a few steps. T-Dog was focused on Rick and the boy when some movement caught his eye. Rachel had returned and actually found some medical supplies which she had put down on one of the cleaner counters. The same she was sitting on now with her feet dangling a few inches above the floor. She had a gauze swab in her right hand and a shard in her left, obviously intending to use it as a mirror. He let out a short sigh and walked towards her instead of the dark corner like he had intended.  
He suppressed a smirk when he took a hold of her wrist before she could reach her lip. She had been so caught up in what she was doing that his gesture actually caught her off guard.  
“I know what I am doing, Dixon.” Her voice was low when he took the swab from her fingers and angled her face as gentle as possible to get a better look at the cut.  
“I know.” He nudged her knee so she would make some room for him to stand between her legs for a better angle. It took a second or two for her to surrender and somewhat pleased he stepped closer, looking down at her. He avoided her eyes on purpose, he didn’t want to see what was going on behind those steel blue orbs. Adjusting the grip he had on her chin a little he examined her lip. The cut wasn’t too deep despite the fact that it had bled a little more than it should have. Carefully he dabbed the swab with iodine against it, getting him a sharp hiss in return. He couldn’t keep in the smug grin or the comment at her reaction.  
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Her answer finally had him aware of what he was doing. How close he was standing to her. Cursing himself and her inwardly, he pulled away. His next words came out somewhat cold and he turned back towards the others. Of course Rick’s much gentler approach had gotten him nowhere. Time to do it his way again. Without further ado he pulled Merle’s wrapped hand from the backpack.  
“‘Want to see what happened to the last guy that pissed me off?’” He threw the hand into the boy’s lap who turned pale and tried to scramble away, almost knocking over the chair he had been tied to.  
“Maybe you should start with his feet this time…” He looked to his right, actually a little surprised it was the girl out of all of them that would catch up to the game he was playing. The boy paled even further if possible, almost ready to wet his pants at the cold words coming from the only woman in the room.


	7. Mexican standoff

About an hour later we arrived at an old factory building with the surrounding walls broken and overgrown in some places. It had taken a while until Miguel was able to speak again and he was rather eager to spill the beans. Apparently my little comment about his feet had shaken him almost more than Daryl throwing his brother’s hand in his lap. T-Dog had raised his brows in surprise when I spoke up and I honestly had to wonder how he and Rick didn’t catch up on what the redneck was doing.  
“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I can always…”  
“I’m fine T. I got better aim than you do if it goes down that road.” I gave him a smile and squeezed his hand. I appreciated his concern regarding the spot we had made out for me to position myself and my rifle was up quite high and there was no way of securing me on the way up and down. I pulled my bow from my shoulder, intending to leave it inside one of the bigger cracks in the wall, just in case something didn’t go the way we planned it.  
“I’ll be holdin’ on to that for ya.” Daryl had come up beside me and took my bow with determination.  
“You break it and I’ll break something else, Dixon.”, I replied but couldn’t suppress the smirk when he rolled his eyes in annoyance.  
“Just don’t fall off that bloody roof and crack your skull… Would be a shame to lose the only other sane person ‘round here.”  
“And who would that be?” Before the hunter could come up with a reply, a snort interrupted.  
“Oh please, get a room! I’m gonna throw up over here.” Daryl turned on the kid with an annoyed expression.  
“‘One wrong move, you get an arrow in the ass. Just so you know.’”  
“You know, the little white boy got a point there.” I snorted, missing out the conversation in front of me.  
“Give me a break. There is nothing even worth the attention.” I quirked an eyebrow at T-Dog who just held up his hands in surrender and gave me a big goofy smile.  
“Just sayin’, girl. The two of you got weird chemistry.”, he kept on going while walking me to the spot where I intended to climb the wall.  
“Sure we do… Because I have nothing better on my mind in the apocalypse than getting laid. Remind me to kick your ass for that when we make it back to camp.” I smirked and started to climb the wall.  
“Awww… I love you too, honey.” I had to bite my lip in order not to laugh. I liked how easy it was to talk to T and actually forget the disaster we were in every once in a while. Still his comment about Daryl and me bothered me a little. I pushed the thought aside. I had to focus on keeping our group covered from afar.  
It was colder up on the roof. The slight breeze wafting over the top of the building and the wall almost a tad on the chilly side. I quietly set up my rifle with practiced ease and felt the familiar tingle in my neck. Brushing up my sunglasses, I settled my face so I was looking through the scope. I could see my companions moving at the broken gate but the wind and distance made it impossible for me to hear anything. _So back to the basics… Shooting on sign rather than sound_ …  
The doors to the building on my left opened and a single man walked out, addressing the boy and there was some back and forth between both parties. Things got a little heated when another man exited the building.  
“Oh, shit…” It was the guy Daryl had shot in the behind after I extracted myself from him. Of course he immediately drew a gun and pointed it straight at the hunter. Rick tried to somehow get a hold of the situation and after some more moments of back and forth between both parties he made a gesture in my direction. All heads turned my way and I gave a short sign, indicating I had my aim and was only waiting for the go to shoot. Even from the distance I could see the asshole that grabbed me smirking as if he didn’t believe I’d really be able to shoot.  
 _I’m gonna regret this_ … Just as previous incidents had proved, my temper was my biggest enemy at this point. I just wanted to see that idiot realise his error. Without warning or permission, I fired a shot right in front of his feet and with a loud curse he jumped back.  
“Puta!” Whatever followed didn’t reach my ears and I quickly reloaded. I couldn’t help the smirk, even when I knew what I just did was plain stupid. Some movement to my left on the rooftop caught my attention and I let out another string of curses. Two men were pulling along a third, bound and head covered with a bag. Even if I didn’t see his face, I knew it was Glenn.  
“Holy fucking shit!” I bit my tongue and I knew my mother would ask if I had been raised in a barn at the more colorful words that followed. I knew I would be able to take out at least one of the two men holding the Asian. But the same second I was sure I wouldn’t be able to do anything about the second man in time or prevent Glenn from being pulled off the rooftop if the corpse was going down. Apparently I wasn’t the only one to think like that. Glenn was pulled back and taken inside the building again. Looking down into the courtyard I saw the rest of the group retreating inside, the idiot giving me another glare. With a frustrated sigh I took the bullet out of my rifle and put it back over my shoulder before descending back to the ground.

When I made my way back to the guys, Rick gave me a disapproving glare.  
“Was that really necessary? That could have caused some serious damage!” I grimassed. I knew he was right.  
“Yeah… Should have maybe thought that through for a second.” The cop shook his head and stomped off, dragging the boy behind and followed by T-Dog. I dug my hands into my pockets and kicked away a stone before I followed them. Passing by the gate I caught Daryl watching me while he still leaned against the stone wall with my bow casually flung over one shoulder. He pushed off the wall when I reached him.  
“Nice shot.” I took my bow back from him.  
“Thanks. At least someone appreciates my good aim… Look, I know it was stupid but…”  
“He asked for it. I don’t give a shit what the cop says. You made a statement.” I gave him a small smile as we followed the others side by side back to our hideout.  
“Hothead.” I looked back at the hunter. He looked forward and bit the inside of his cheek.  
“Takes one to know one, Dixon.” His only response was a low hum and we walked on in silence, mostly keeping our attention on our surroundings. It was a rather awkward silence but still I didn’t mind. I was confused, the way he acted didn’t make much sense at times. He seemed to be a good scout, a good hunter if one asked the camp members, but at the same time he seemed rather uncomfortable around people. Something I could relate to to some extent. Growing up, I didn’t have much friends besides my brother. I was tiny and skinny with braces, an easy target for bullies. That only changed when puberty hit and by that time I was just so sick of people my age that I kept to myself.  
“What’s with the grumpy face?”  
“Huh?” It took me a few seconds to realise T-Dog was walking beside me and Daryl had fallen into step next to Rick.  
“You know Rick didn’t mean to make you feel like an idiot?” I gave him a sideways glance and shook my head.  
“It’s not about that. I mean, I understand him. It was stupid and selfish. I shouldn’t have done it.”  
“Then what were you thinking about?” We were almost back at our hideout and more walkers were now running around.  
“Doesn’t matter. Nothing I need to talk about.” I took out a walker that had come too close to Rick’s right side and retrieved the arrow when passing the body.  
“If you say so…” It was obvious T-Dog had hoped for a different answer and not imagined me closing up but I didn’t want to talk about my childhood and my teenage years. Not now. Maybe not ever.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“‘Them guns are worth more than gold. Gold won't protect your family or put food on the table. You're gonna give that up for that kid?’”, Daryl was arguing while Rick separated the guns from the duffle bag into two piles. I looked back down in my lap and continued sharpening my knife, something I often did when I was nervous or at a loss at what to do. Or like in this case simply annoyed with everyone around me. Honestly, they were acting like children that had been told they needed to give up half of their toys so they would get something important back. _Rich coming from the one who fired an uncalled shot at the Mexican’s feet_ …  
In front of me a discussion broke loose on whether it was wise to give up the guns and if the leader, Guillermo according to the boy, would even return Glenn. It went on to the point where Daryl threatened relieving Miguel of some teeth if he didn’t keep his mouth shut.  
“Honestly… What is the alternative? Go in guns blazing and hope to reach Glenn before they put a bullet in his brain?” All three men turned to me since it was the first time I had spoken since our return to our hold up. “What? I really like the guy. We didn’t come all the way to just leave him behind, did we? I mean, it isn’t like we would have use for all that ammo and guns. They draw too much attention anyways and what do we really know about those guys. For all we know they could be in the same situation as we are. Trying to survive in a world that doesn’t apply to the normal rules of society anymore. What if they got families to protect? Ever think of that?”  
“You know, she got a point there.” I smiled at T-Dog for having my back on this.  
“And if she is wrong? I don’t trust that little snitch over there for one second. He could be lying no matter how many people he says they have. Could be more, could be less.” Miguel paled a little when the hunter shot him another glare with his hunting knife twirling between his fingers.  
“So far Rachel hasn’t been wrong too often. We stick with the plan. Exchange the boy for Glenn and give them half of the weapons and ammo.”, Rick chimed in. The redneck still didn’t seem keen on giving up the weapons and it took another ten minutes of arguing until Miguel was tied and pushed out onto the streets again. The remaining weapons had been hidden by the ex cop, just in case.

Walking back into the courtyard of the old factory, I felt exposed now that I was with my companions on the ground and not up on the roof again. The doors opened and Guillermo and his goons walked out to meet us, the one I almost shot glaring daggers at me and I couldn’t help the sarcastic grin. I sensed more than I saw Rick’s disapproving glance in my direction but I chose to ignore it.  
I almost rolled my eyes at the new discussion unfolding between Guillermo and Rick about the ownership over the guns and where the rest was. The result being that everybody was pointing their gun, in Daryl’s and my case our arrows, at each other.  
“Oh, please. You gotta be kidding me…”, I scoffed when the other’s leader bragged about his supposedly hellhounds he would let loose on Glenn.  
“Got something to say, puta?” I was ready to give the Mexican some piece of mind when Rick pulled me slightly back and an elderly woman exited the building, heading straight for the asshole in front of me.  
“‘Felipe! Felipe!’” The Mexican turned towards his aunt and tried to persuade her to return into the building with little to no success. After a few seconds she switched to spanish and even when I didn’t use it often since school, I understood that there seemed to be a problem with one of the inhabitant’s breathing.  
“Sorry, Ma’am? I don’t want to interfere but I could I take a look at Mr. Gilbert if you would let me.”, I approached the elder lady in broken spanish and everyone looked at me in surprise.  
“Are you a doctor?”, she turned to me and I nodded with a soft smile but was cut short by Rick before I was able to answer properly.  
“Rache, don’t…” The Mexican’s aunt now faced Rick, her eyes widening slightly as she took in the former cop’s uniform. Immediately she asked what Felipe had done and tried to plead with Rick that her nephew was a good boy in general. I was taken a little aback by her reaction and asked myself if she was even aware of the fact that the world as we knew it didn’t exist anymore while Rick explained to her that her nephew was helping us find a friend.  
“‘The Asian boy? He's with Mr. Gilbert. Come. Come, I'll show you.’” She reached for mine and the cop’s hand and pulled a little with more strength than I had given her credit for. She started leading us into the building and the leader allowed us to enter with a sigh. Crossing to a dark entrance hall we were led into a vast room, filled with twenty or so people, most of them old and in somewhat impared condition.  
“This is a nursing home…”, I mumbled and saw Daryl turn to me out of the corner of my eyes. Focusing back on what was ahead I made out Glenn sitting at a table with a man whose breathing was more than laboured. The woman leading us let go of Rick’s hand and pulled me further along towards the pair and I quickly assessed the situation. Glenn stood up from the chair he was sitting in and breathed something along the lines of ‘asthma attack’.  
“Mr. Gilbert?”, I crouched down in front of him, putting my bow on the table and gently took one of his hands in mine. “Sir, I need you to breathe with me. Slow and easy, just follow my lead…” The man followed my instructions as I talked to him in a soft and monotone voice. When he slowly calmed down and his breathing evened out I turned to Felipe who had come up next to me.  
“He got an inhaler or something?”  
“Not anymore. Went out yesterday and the pharmacy was already raided… Thank you.”, he explained, his hostility gone now that we were inside with all those people. I nodded at that and took a look around the room once more. Rick and Guillermo were off to the side and discussing something, T-Dog had been pulled along by Felipe’s abuela and Daryl had his eyes on me and the Mexican next to me.  
“Hey. Answer me one question, Felipe. What is this?” He scratched the back of his head and held his hand out to help me back to my feet.  
“Most of those people are relatives of one of us. We came here to look for them when this mess happened and most decided to stay and protect and care for these people for however long that might be. There are groups out there that do not care if they have to kill to get what they want and these people… Who else would look after them and protect them?” I nodded, actually a little surprised by the kindness in the man that had put a knife to my throat hours before.  
“That is a noble cause… Do you have any other people I should take a look at before we leave?” With a relieved smile scurried off to get those in need of professional medical care while another young man escorted Mr. Gilbert away but not before the older man thanked me again and pushed a piece of candy in my hand.  
“Ya pretty good with this medical stuff.” I looked up at Daryl who leaned against the table next to me. For the last hour I had been helping to change bandages, take a look at some chronic conditions and treated some minor injuries.  
“Well, I should be given that I was a paramedic before all this.” The hunter crossed his arms over his chest and hummed.  
“Could come in handy at one point to have our own doc in camp. To be honest I can stitch someone up if needed but I bet ya can do a much better job.” I wanted to answer him when Felipe approached me again, a boy no older than sixteen years in tow.  
“That’s the last one, por favor. The boy has a dislocated shoulder but we couldn’t pop it back in. His fingers are losing feeling.” I nodded at the boy to have a seat.  
“Hey Dixon, I could use your help with this one.” Daryl put his crossbow on the table with my compound bow and took a hold of the boy’s arm like I told him to.  
“Okay Tyler, this is gonna hurt like a bitch. On three. One. Two…” I nodded at Dixon and he pulled on the arm while I put pressure on the joint until I heard a loud pop. The boy let out a loud scream but still his features relaxed a little.  
“Here we go. This should feel better now. I need some more bandages to keep the shoulder in place for a few days. Don’t put too much pressure on it and take some painkillers if you still have some. You’re lucky, kid. You could have lost the arm if it had stayed like this.” With some satisfaction I noticed that the pale blue tint in the skin around the shoulder was fading and turning a healthier colour again.  
I patted the boy on the other shoulder before grabbing my stuff and walking over to where Guillermo and Rick were still talking, the hunter following behind me.  
“Thank you very much for your help, you didn’t need to do that. Felipe is good at keeping this place running but his medical knowledge is limited.” I nodded at him and shook his hand before we made to leave this place to return to our camp, leaving behind the bag of guns Rick had packed for the group.

“‘You've given away half our guns and ammo.’”, Daryl complained to Rick on our way back to the van.  
“‘Not nearly half.’”, was the cop’s short reply.  
“‘For what? Bunch of old farts who are gonna die off momentarily anyhow? Seriously, how long you think they got?’” I lightly slapped the redneck’s arm for his comment.  
“A little more respect. At some point you’re gonna be just as old and happy to be cared for, Dixon.” He gave me a scrutinising look and scoffed.  
“Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t count on livin’ that long, princess.” I pressed my lips into a thin line. I knew he was right with all that was going on now but honestly the thought of what the future might hold hadn’t crossed my mind with trying to somehow stay alive.  
“‘Oh my God.’” I looked back forward at hearing Glenn and stopped dead in my tracks.  
“‘Where the hell’s our van?’”


	8. Dead bite

“‘Where the hell’s our van?’”, Daryl asked what we all were thinking. I was sure we were in the right place and not somewhere else.  
“‘We left it right there. Who would take it?’” Oh I had a pretty good idea who it was and what that meant for us.  
“Merle.”, Rick and I answered simultaneously and Glenn’s face fell.  
“‘He's gonna be taking some vengeance back to camp.’”, Daryl mumbled and I nodded my head.  
“Then what are we still doing here? We should go. Hopefully we make it before he starts spilling blood…” I didn’t really wait for the others to respond since it was clear what we should do. I pulled the strap of my rifle tighter and started jogging off at a moderate pace that I would be able to keep up for some time.  
“Let’s go! Ya know she might be right ‘bout my brother.” I heard the gravel shift behind me as the others followed me back the path we had driven in on and soon caught up to me.  
“Sure you can keep this pace up until we make it back to camp?” Rick had fallen into step next to me.  
“No. And I don’t need to all the way back. I just want to cover as much ground as possible before night falls. We still don’t know for sure if Merle took the van, so…” I looked back over my shoulder to see if the others were still following us. The truth was that we really didn’t know if it had been Merle and if he was if he’d even return to the camp. Could always have been someone else scavenging the place.

Getting back had taken us several hours and as presumed night had already fallen when we came close to reaching the camp. We hadn’t run as far as I hoped we would or else we might have had to leave T-Dog behind since he couldn’t keep up with the rest of us for long.  
We were currently making our way through trees and brush, careful not to trip over anything. I grabbed T-Dog’s arm and pulled him towards me. He gave me a confused look until I picked up a piece of wood and slammed it where his right foot would have landed with the next step. Metal jaws snapping together made everyone flinch and T went pale as far as I could tell in the dim light under all those leaves blocking the moonlight.  
“Careful where you step. There might be more forgotten bear traps.”, I told the others.  
“How’d ya know that was there?” Daryl's gruff voice cut through the thick silence like a knife.  
“My dad used to take me and my brother hunting a lot. It has been a while but I still remember what a hidden animal trap looks like.”, I tried to explain. To be honest it had been more of a feeling in my gut that there was something hidden, I hadn’t been out hunting since my dad’s accident that put him in a wheelchair.  
“Yeah, sure…” The redneck was cut off by sudden screams and gunshots, clearly coming from our camp.  
“Move!”, Rick yelled and sprinted off towards his family, Glenn yelling behind him to go faster at the sound of a child screaming. Finally breaking through the tree lines it was utter chaos. Walkers had overrun the camp and were going after the inhabitants. Bodies littered the floor and I wasn’t able to say if it were the dead or our people. Not hesitating for one second I raised my bow and shot the walker closest to me, they hadn’t noticed yet the five additional people that had emerged from the woods. The others next to me started taking out walkers as well. A tap on my right shoulder as I took out another one with my knife had my attention. I followed the instant command to duck only for Daryl to fire a bolt over my shoulder into a walker that had snuck up on my right side.  
“Thanks.” He gave me a nod and crashed the butt of his crossbow into the next walker’s head. And then all of a sudden it was over, Rick shooting the last walking corpse. He instantly called out for his wife and son and embraced the shaken boy. A movement to my right got my attention and with a raised bow I slowly walked towards the spot near the RV. I let out a relieved sigh and lowered the arrow.  
“Hey, it’s okay. You can come out now. Sophia, right?” The trembling girl nodded, still curled up against the vehicle with her arms tight around her knees. I threw my bow back over my shoulder and crouched down in front of her. I didn’t touch her or got too close but reached my hand out to her.  
“It’s alright. It’s over now.” Hesitantly she placed her hand in mine and I gently pulled her towards me. Even when she didn’t know me for more than a day, she trusted me. She threw her arms around my neck and started sobbing into my shirt.  
“Hey.. Shhh. Come on. Let’s find your mommy, I’m sure she is worried sick for you, okay?” The girl nodded but seemed unable to move. Not caring that she was twelve years old, I scooped her up and held her to my front like I would do with a toddler. Rounding the RV with the girl in my arms I took in the sight of the camp. Thankfully it was mostly walkers on the ground but it seemed enough of our own had been killed. Only a few feet away Andrea was mourning the death of her sister and I could make out a few other people I couldn’t put a name to.  
I put a hand to the back of Sophia’s head, not wanting the girl to look and see the carnage before us.  
“Oh my god! Sophia!” I turned to find Carol running towards us and tried to calm her down when she stopped in front of me. She pulled her daughter from me and the child started sobbing even more now that she was with her mother.  
“Thank you. Thank you so much!” Before I knew what was happening, the older woman pulled me into a tight hug. “Thank you for looking out for my baby.”  
“I didn’t do anything. She hid under the RV, I just pulled her out when it was over and promised to help her find you.”, I tried to explain to the shaken mother. She didn’t seem to care that that was all I had done for Sophia. She thanked me again and finally let go of me. I looked around her, wondering where that good for nothing husband of hers was. She seemed to notice the question in my eyes and shook her head, apparently not wanting to say it out loud in front of the girl.  
“I am sorry.”, I told her, despite having less sympathy for that man than I would have for a steak on my plate.  
“Don’t be. He had it coming…”, Carol whispered and I could see the conflict in her eyes. She was free of him, still he had been her husband.  
The remaining night was rather short, none of us getting much sleep with all the crying and riled up people. At one point I just slumped down in a camping chair in front of some tent, I didn’t know nor care at this point who the owner was. Not able to keep my eyes open for much longer while I watched Andrea next to her sister I fell asleep.

I couldn’t have slept for long when I was woken by a gruff voice.  
“Got no place of yer own?” I blinked and had to shield my eyes from the rising sun to be able to see clearly who was in front of me. Daryl looked down at me with little expression on his face as I looked up at him, still a little sleep drunk.  
“What?”, I mumbled, my mind still a little slow on the uptake. The hunter rolled his eyes and gestured to the tent next to me.  
“Next time ask before ya fall asleep in my chair. I don’t want people near my stuff.” Finally his words registered with my brain and I understood that I had fallen asleep next to his tent. I let out a groan and got to my feet.  
“Didn’t know this was yours. Honestly didn’t care much whose it was when I closed my eyes. What time is it anyways?” Daryl shook his head and bit the inside of his cheek.  
“Early still. Get outta here.” I huffed and just turned to leave.  
“You know what, Dixon? I liked you better yesterday when you weren’t acting like a total asshole.” I had turned around and the hunter looked at me with indifference.  
“Yeah, whatever.” He went into his tent and I stomped off towards Glenn, to help him with piling up the dead walkers. _I swear if this is going to be a habit now… Maybe he is more like his brother than I thought, at least as unstable_.  
“Need a hand?” Glenn looked up at me and brushed his hand over his forehead to wipe away some sweat.  
“Thanks. I was thinking, we should give our people a proper grave. I mean… You know?” I nodded at him, understanding that it didn’t seem right to burn them alongside the rotten carcasses. I moved to help the Asian, more like Korean as I had found out by now, throw another walker onto the pile of bodies. We worked in silence, clearing the area from the corpses while Jacqui and Jim were building a second pile a good distance from ours. After putting away the last body I looked around, noticing that Rick, Daryl and Shane were standing next to the RV, looking over at Andrea who still sat in the dirt next to her sister. I slowly walked over, wanting to know what the plan was for now.  
“‘Take the shot. Clean, in the brain from here. Hell, I can hit a turkey between the eyes from this distance.’”, Daryl stated hinting at Amy’s body.  
“Are you serious?” The hunter’s eyes shot to me. This had to be a joke, they weren’t really considering to just put a bolt in the girl’s skull while her sister was weeping next to her.  
“What’s it to you? Ain’t none of your business.”, Shane snapped at me and I glared back, not ready to let this go.  
“The hell it is. Like it or not I am not leaving, so get used to me having an opinion. Would you want somebody to shoot your brother or sister while you are still sitting next to them in grief? I’d go ballistic over that.” The former cop snorted and took a step towards me that would have been intimidating if I weren’t used to such behavior.  
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, _princess_.” Before I could get back at him, Rick pushed between us.  
“Enough of that. We are not doing anything now. Let her grief, she will come around. She was her sister and as long as she doesn’t turn Andrea won’t see anything else than that.” Shane sent another glare my way and I just flipped him off with an annoyed growl.  
Suddenly Jacqui started screaming that Jim had been bit which he denied, telling everyone and himself that he was alright. T-Dog snuck up on him and restrained him so Daryl could pull up his shirt to reveal the large bite on his lower abdomen. I closed my eyes for a second, silently wondering if there were more people that had gotten bitten during last night's events and were too afraid to tell.

Of course the revealing of Jim’s bite caused another discussion about smashing his and Amy’s brains before they could pose a threat to anyone, up to the point where Shane and Daryl were almost at each other's throats and Dale caught in the middle of it, trying to reason that maybe Dixon was right this time.  
“‘He's sick. A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?’”, Rick asked and I had to agree to some extent. Where was the line between being bitten and being a goner?  
“‘The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be.’” I frowned at the redneck’s cold words. We didn’t know if there really was nothing we could do for Jim at this point. Maybe if we could somehow keep his body up and running until we found a way to stop the virus in his system.  
I almost missed out the discussion between the two former cops about the C.D.C. maybe being still up and running or if they moved the facility to Fort Benning and if we should go there.  
“Fort Benning might be up and running but I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” THe men and Lori turned to me, giving me something between a surprised and sceptical look.  
“What do you mean, Rachel?”, Lori asked, her hands at her sides while Shane glared at me again.  
“When we were dropped off at Atlanta, the first thing crashing was communication. Fort Benning was the first we lost connection to. The place might still be safe but it could as well be overrun. And before moving the C.D.C. staff anywhere, they would try and put up a military safe zone around it before abandoning their research and laboratories and move them anywhere else that might be less easy to protect in case they got overrun.” Everyone fell silent at my words, even Shane didn’t have to say anything this time.  
“Rachel’s right. ‘The military were on the front lines of this thing. They got overrun. We've all seen that. The C.D.C. is our best choice and Jim's only chance.’”, Rick then backed me up.  
“‘You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!’” Daryl picked up the pickaxe again and made his way over to Jim attempting to take a swing at his head and be done with talking. Rick aimed his gun at the redneck and told him to back down. I didn’t know why I did it but without thinking I got between them, the gun now trained at my head and my body preventing Daryl from smashing Jim’s head in.  
“Would you all calm down, for Christ’s sake?!”, I yelled at them, looking at both Rick and Daryl alike. Both looking back at me with surprise since none of them had expected me to just put myself in between them.  
“‘We don’t kill the living.’”, Rick stated calmly and put away his colt.  
“‘That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head.’”, the hunter huffed with his eyes still on me rather than the cop. Shane again spoke up, taking Rick’s side on this one and told Daryl to put the axe down and let it go. The redneck let go of the tool and stomped off, bumping his shoulder into Shane’s on purpose. Rick took the opportunity to get Jim away, which left just Shane and me after Lori went after her husband with a last indifferent glance at the other cop. With a sigh I picked up the pick axe and made to leave as well when Shane grabbed me by my wrist.  
“Let go.”, I demanded with a calm voice, not wanting him to touch me but he didn’t.  
“You think you know everything, huh?” I furrowed my brows at his statement and looked up at him clueless to what he was hinting at.  
“You might want to be a little more specific.”  
“Just ‘cause you were military doesn’t mean you know anything that’s going on. Fort Benning could be still running and a safe place for us.” I shook my head and tried to pull free of his grasp on my wrist.  
“You didn’t listen, did you? I said they might still be up and operating, that I only know for sure that they *+were the first we lost any connection with when all that shit went down. And that I doubt that they moved the C.D.C. over there. I never said I knew anything for sure!”, I shot back at him, only for him to step closer and back me up a few steps.  
“Then keep your damned mouth shut! Since the moment you came out of that van you’ve been throwing some attitude. You’re a civilian now, start acting the part, princess.”, he snapped and got into my face. I clenched my fist at my side, digging my nails into the palm of my hand.  
“You can try to pull rank on me all you like, _deputy_! If I am a civilian now, so are you and you don’t get to order me around no matter what you think. If speaking my mind isn’t to your liking then don’t listen but stop giving me shit about it. I am not trying to be a leader or anything but I won’t stop speaking up when I feel the need to.” I saw the slight tick in his jaw but he didn’t get the chance to say anything else about that matter.  
“Rachel, I could use your help. Glenn said you were pretty good at patching up people.” I looked around Shane towards Dale and gave him a soft smile.  
“I’m coming. Shane and I were done talking anyways. Ain’t that right?”  
“Carefull…”, Shane growled and finally let go of me. I stepped around him and followed the older man back towards where the RV was set up.  
“Everything alright? The two of you seemed a little tense back there.” I looked over to the man beside me.  
“Nothing worth the attention. We just had some disagreement over something, he will get over it.”, I deflected. I had no intention to tell anyone about the words exchanged between the two of us. I was new to the group and me stirring up some conflict wasn’t going to help anybody right now. Maybe over time he would lay off with that attitude towards me, he might have his reasons behaving like this, same as I had my reasons to snap at him as soon as he got in my face.  
“You didn’t really need my help, did you?”, I asked and Dale shook his head.  
“Only with burying our deceased. Honestly I just wanted to make sure Shane didn’t do anything back there. I know the man has a temper and him getting in your face…” I cut him off which seemed to take him by surprise.  
“Thank you. You don’t know me and you didn’t need to do this.”  
“Yes, I did. Actually you remind me a little of what my late wife used to be when we first met back in the day.” I smiled at him and made a mental note to ask him about his wife some other time. I meant what I said, he really didn’t need to feel responsible for me and for what it was worth I respected him for it.

Reaching the RV I parted from Dale since he went over to where Andrea was still crouching next to her sister. I didn’t feel the need to get close to her right now, it wouldn’t have mattered anyways since the blonde didn’t seem to recognize much that was going on around her. I walked over to where Daryl was slamming another pickaxe into the dead walkers’s heads, just to be sure. Stepping closer I realised he would be doing the same to last night’s casualties, maybe a little more gentle than before if you could say that. He looked up when I approached and bit the inside of his cheek again, something that I labeled as nervous behavior by now.  
“Need somethin’?” He kept looking straight at me and I just shrugged my shoulders.  
“Wanted to see if you need some help.” He shook his head and lifted the axe again, ready to slam it down again.  
“Nah, I’m good.” At least his answer was friendlier than what I had gotten this morning.  
“Ya just keep buttin’ heads with Shane. Keeps him off my ass.” I let out a snort.  
“It’s not like I am begging him to be a dick…” The hunter stopped what he was doing again.  
“Why d’ya keep mouthin’ off to him if ya want him outta yer hair?” I looked up at him and into his blue eyes, they weren’t judging but curious, as if he was trying to figure out the solution to a riddle. I noticed how his accent was thicker, something that I had only experienced happening up to now when his temper was threatening to get out of hand. I let out a sigh and rubbed one hand over my neck while the other stayed on my hip.  
“Honestly, I don’t know.” Now it was the redneck to snort.  
“Bullshit.”  
“What do you want to hear, Dixon?”, I growled back.  
“Forget ‘bout it. Ain’t my business why he’s so determined to rile ya up and why ya let him. Maybe ya should consider keepin’ yer mouth shut around him. Don’t come runnin’ to me when he knocks ya on yer ass for it.” He turned to the next body, Carol’s husband Ed, and raised the pickaxe only for the woman to stop him.  
“‘I'll do it. He's my husband.’” She took the pickaxe from Daryl and raised it over her head. It took her a few moments to find the strength to actually embed the tool in her husband's skull. When she finally did it, it seemed to trigger something in her as she started to swing the axe down over and over until Ed’s head was nothing more than some bloody mass.  
“Carol! Carol, that’s enough!” I gently grabbed her and pulled her trembling form against me while Daryl pried the pickaxe as gently as possible from her hands. The now crying woman fell against me and I struggled to hold her up and comfort her.  
“It’s alright. It’s gonna be okay. He is gone, he can’t hurt you or your daughter anymore…” I met Daryl’s gaze as I tried to calm the woman in my arms and he gave me a thankful nod since he was at a loss at what to do with her.  
“Come on. Let’s find Sophia and the other kids, keep them distracted until the others are done with the bodies.” Carol nodded, still unable to speak but she tried to stand on her own and brush away the tears. I still had an arm around her as I led her away from the unrecognisable thing that once was her husband.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daryl watched her as Rachel led Carol away from the RV towards her tent and daughter. He was thankful for not having to deal with the weeping woman. He really didn’t know what to make of the blonde. He had been impressed when she started treating the people in Atlanta, especially how she put that boy’s shoulder back in place. She was hot headed and he didn’t try to be mean when he told her to be careful around Shane. He had seen the looks that asshole gave her and how he got in her face before Dale interfered. Hell, he didn’t even know why he cared. Still he had felt bad for snapping at her when he found her this morning in the chair by his tent, with her legs pulled up and her head on her knees. He had considered letting her sleep it off, until his brother’s mocking voice had been loud in his head.  
‘ _Growing soft for a nice pair of titts now, little D? Why don’t ya invite her to sleep in yer tent while ya at it? Ya know she wouldn’t even look at ya if ya were dirt under her boot_.’  
He let out an annoyed growl at the thought of his brother. He should be all that mattered to him, especially after finding his severed hand. They should have left when they had the chance. He was angry at Merle for abandoning him again. He could have just waited on that damn rooftop. He knew that Daryl would come for him!


	9. Picking daisies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in this chapter, between taking care of the aftermath from the camp getting attacked and getting on the road towards the C.D.C., I wanted to give Rachel some chance to interact a little more with some of the group members.

I had led Carol back to her tent where Sophia was still curled up in a tight ball, clearly shaken by last night's events. At the sound of the tent opening she had flinched and pulled back a little at seeing her mother tainted with some blood.  
“Why don’t you get cleaned up and I stay here with her?”, I proposed with a soft voice and Carol nodded. I turned back to the girl.  
“Hey, mind if I sit with you?” With wide eyes Sophia shook her head and pulled her legs away to make room for me to sit. With a smile I got down next to her. For a while we both just sat there, not saying anything and just watched the camp through the open flap.  
“Is he really dead?” I turned at the girl’s whisper and looked down at her. She was still hugging her knees to her chest and stared outside without giving away any emotion. I thought about what to say but came to the conclusion that the same as with people that suffered from PTSD it was better to give her the truth instead of some comforting bullshit.  
“Yes, he is.”  
“Good.” I was almost shocked at the coldness the twelve year old gave off.  
“Why would you say that, Sophia?”, I asked her calmly. Finally she turned to me and looked up at me with an expression that didn’t belong on the face of a girl still so young.  
“Now he can’t hurt mommy anymore.”  
“Does your mom know that you knew?” Sophia shook her head.  
“I didn’t want her to know. I heard her cry so often when daddy left afterwards and she thought I was asleep.” I was shocked. I had already assumed and gotten from Carol that much but hearing her daughter talk about it was different.  
“Promise you won’t tell her that I knew.” She held out her pinky to me and after a second I entwined mine with hers.  
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”, I confirmed and she gave me a small smile. Footsteps coming our way caught our attention and moments later Carol peaked her head inside.  
“You two good?”, she asked, seemingly having calmed down a little. Sophia nodded eagerly and I smiled back at the older woman.  
“They are having a funeral down at the quarry. Would you care to help me and the kids gather some flowers?” Her voice was still low as if she was expecting to have her husband’s shadow to fall on her the second she spoke up.  
“Of course. Let me just get my sunglasses.” I got up and stepped out of the tent. Agreeing to meet where Lori and Carol used to hang up the clothes for drying I jogged off towards the RV where I still had my belongings since we hadn’t set up a place for me yet. I went inside to grab my sunglasses. Almost exciting I stepped back and slid my knives back into my boots and grabbed my bow. When I stepped back outside Rick and Daryl were talking and looked up when they heard me.  
“Hey Rick, Carol wanted to take the kids and gather some flowers for the funeral. Mind if Carl wants to tag along?” Rick thought about it for a second before he agreed to ask his son himself and asked me to wait.  
“Never took ya for the flower type.”, Daryl commented with a cigarette between his lips.  
“It’s more for the kids. To distract them a little until we bury Ed and Amy. Give them something to do, you know?” I leaned against the RV with my sunglasses shielding my eyes from the sun. The hunter hummed next to me before he held out another cigarette to me. I shook my head to which he only shrugged his shoulders.  
“Still don’t understand why we need a funeral. Should just burn ‘em same as the rest of those rotten corpses and be done with it.” I looked at his profile while he exhaled some smoke.  
“Holding on to what’s left of our humanity, I guess. For as long as we can. Get some closure…” I kicked away a stone at my feet, hitting one of the walkers. I flinched when he suddenly started growling and went over to shove one of my knives through his left eye.  
“I hate those things!”, I growled and ripped the blade from its eye socket. I looked around the camp and saw Rick was talking to Carl and Lori, pointing to where I was standing occasionally. Letting my eyes wander further I caught sight of Sophia and Carol still waiting. The girl waved at me with a smile and I waved back to her which seemed to make her even more happy.  
“You’re good with that one.” I looked back at Daryl and asked him what he meant.  
“Girl rarely talks to anyone besides the boy. Afraid of her own shadow just like her mother.” I crossed my arms and looked back to the two of them.  
“They might change now that they are free of that asshole. Seen it before. Some make the same mistake over and over again, others grow from it.” The hunter wanted to say something else when Carl came running, followed by his father.  
“Dad said I can go with you and Sophia.”, the boy beamed. I nodded and waited for his father to arrive.  
“You stay within sight and do what Rachel says. Are we clear?” Carl nodded and took my hand as we made our way to Carol and Sophia.  
“Keep watch for strays!”, Rick yelled behind us and I turned to give him the thumbs up.  
Taking the kids away from camp proved to be a good idea when some time later a single gunshot rang loud through the calm. Carol flinched and grabbed my hand.  
“Was that…?” I nodded at her.  
“Yes. I think Amy turned.”, I confirmed. She let out a shaky breath and I encouraged the kids, not only Carl and Sophia but also Morales’s kids, to keep picking flowers.

The funeral itself was an awkward affair. I stood a little off to the side and watched the whole thing as they put Amy and Ed, all wrapped up so nobody would see their heads, in the graves. Tears were shed by those who knew the deceased and people tried to say some nice things about them, even Ed. I bit back a hollow laugh when Carol told what a loving husband he was despite his faults at times.  
“Guess she had to say something nice at least.”, Daryl mumbled next to me. Apparently I hadn’t been the only one feeling awkward down there with the others. I had noticed how the hunter kept his distance most of the time, unless there was something to do like cleaning the camp of walkers or going hunting. He rarely indulged in conversations that went anywhere near the department of getting some personal information out of him.  
“I’m gonna see how Jim is doing.” I turned and made my way back towards the RV. It was silent inside and I pulled out my Glock just to be sure. In the back, where I had slept yesterday, Jim was lying motionless. I carefully walked closer and noticed his chest was still rising and falling but he was out like a light. I put my hand against his forehead only to confirm what I had already feared, he was burning up and sweating. I sat my weapons aside and started rummaging through the cupboards to find some towels. Once I found some, I poured water on them and returned to Jim to put them on his forehead, hoping to get the fever down a little and tried to clean the bite as far as possible. When I changed the towel on his head, Jim suddenly took a hold of my hand, staring off into the distance and mumbling some incoherent stuff.  
“Calm down, Jim. It’s fine, you just go back to sleep.”, I coed until he slowly closed his eyes and his grip on me slackened. He kept drifting in and out of consciousness, talking in his sleep and didn’t make much more sense when he came to for a few seconds at a time. At one point I grabbed one of the books Dale had lying around the RV since I didn’t plan on leaving the unconscious man any time soon. It wasn’t like I had much to do anyways now with the dead either burned or buried and the others occupied with their daily routine. I looked up from the book when I heard the door open and a second later Rick and Lori entered.  
“How is he holding up?”, Rick asked with a low voice as he noticed that Jim was asleep. I let out a frustrated sigh.  
“Not good. The fever is getting worse and the infection seems to have spread even after I cleaned the wound as good as possible with nearly no medical supplies. He is drifting in and out of consciousness and I fear his brain is already affected by the infection. He doesn’t make much sense when he is talking…” Rick brushed through his hair and Lori covered her mouth in a nervous gesture.  
“‘You need anything?’”, she finally asked.  
“‘Uh… Water. Could use more water.’” I looked to my right, surprised to see Jim awake and his eyes clear for once. Lori nodded and left to get some water. I put my hand to Jim’s forehead and shook my head at Rick, who had stepped closer. I was afraid that this might be one of his last clear moments. As far as I could tell without a thermometer I guessed his fever was well beyond 100 degrees by now and just increasing.  
“Could you give us a moment?” Rick looked at me and I nodded. I grabbed my sunglasses and left.

Outside I looked around and decided to join Dale on the RV’s top. When I reached the top I saw the elder man sitting in his chair, looking over the campground.  
“Need some company?” He flinched, apparently he had been deep in thought and didn’t hear me come up.  
“I can always use company.” He gave me a tired smile and I sat down at the ground next to his chair.  
“You didn’t just come up here to hear an old man talk, did you now?” I couldn’t help the chuckle and leaned back on my hands while watching Carl and Sophia make mudpies.  
“I might have felt a little useless around here. Rick is down and talking to Jim while he is awake and that leaves me with little to nothing to do right now.” Dale took in what I said for a moment before he answered.  
“You are anything but useless. You might not have found your place and purpose in this group yet but you will. You have done a lot for this group since Glenn brought you and Rick back from Atlanta.” A snort escaped me.  
“I don’t mean any disrespect, Dale. But I don’t see much I have done to earn that much praise.”  
“You helped them get out of Atlanta. You went back for Daryl’s brother even when you didn’t have to and didn’t owe him anything. And I saw you taking the kids away until Amy… Until it was time to put Amy to rest. You have a kind heart and I know sooner or later we will need that around here.” I listened to him go on and almost felt like he was talking about somebody else’s actions rather than my own.  
“Honestly, hearing you talk like this doesn’t feel like it is about me. I never thought someone would judge my actions like that. I mean, I just go with what feels right, even when it proves to backfire later.” I felt Dale’s hand on my shoulder and looked up.  
“Glenn told me about what you did at that shelter where he was kept when he was taken hostage on your search for Dixon and the guns. You could have looked the other way and denied these people your help. You didn’t and it didn’t backfire. If anything, I am sure it was one of the reasons why you all got out of there unharmed. They could have killed all of you and taken the guns anyways. Yet you chose to treat them despite what happened beforehand.” I bit my lip and looked back over the camp.  
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t look the other way. Those people… That could have been us. They stayed to care for those people there because they knew they wouldn’t survive on their own. There is a difference between being on opposite sites and being true enemies. They were doing it to stay alive not because they had a grudge against us. Even when I was in Afghanistan I treated people that shot at our own people just hours before. You know why? Because it was the right thing. Because it didn’t matter on which side we fought. All life is precious. Now even more than ever.”  
“Exactly what I said. You have a good heart. Make sure to keep it for as long as you can. And just so you know, I am not the only one seeing that you make an effort to contribute. Rick listens to you and it has nothing to do with your background.” I looked back at his profile and in that moment he remembered me so much of my grandfather.  
“You see a lot more than you let on, huh?” A smile played along his lips.  
“I might have picked up a thing or two from my late wife over the years. It took her two sentences to figure out a person completely. But you are right, I like to watch people and I could tell right away that you belong here. You will find your place.” It was weird how someone who didn’t even know me for more than a few days was able to assure me of my right to be here so much. Same as Shane gave me the impression all I did was stir trouble whenever I got myself involved.  
A thudding noise was heard from below and Dale looked over the low railing.  
“Shane and I were going to head out and make sure there weren’t any strays left. I would like it if you’d come with us.” Dale seemed unsure to leave.  
“I can take over watching the camp for a while. You can go.”, I assured him and he nodded before climbing down. After taking a few steps towards the treeline Rick turned around to look up at me.  
“Jacqui is down in the RV with Jim for now.” I nodded in return and felt a slight shiver run down my spine when I caught Shane glaring at me again. _So what did I do this time? Is it a problem now that I take watch_?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was hours later when the three men finally returned to the camp. The sun was already starting to set and not getting much sleep last night finally caught up with me, despite the fact that I should have been used to little sleep by now. I slowly climbed down from the RV when Shane made a general attempt to get everyone’s attention and I asked myself what it was this time.  
“‘I've been, uh… I've been thinking about Rick's plan. Now look, there are no… There are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning.’” I crossed my arms over my chest and started chewing on my lower lip. I was ready to open my mouth when someone else spoke up.  
“So that means we’re headin’ for that Disease Control whatever place?” Shane turned around to look at the hunter at the back of the crowd.  
“Yes. That’s what I am saying. Rick is right. We should check there first before we head out over a hundred miles for some military safe zone.” It took a lot of effort out of me not to start laughing in a sarcastic manner. _Really now? I say something and it’s bullshit. Give him a few hours in the woods and suddenly he sees common sense… Wonder what Rick said to him_. My eyes wandered aimlessly over the crowd until they stopped at Lori. I couldn’t say what the look she gave her husband’s best friend was but it was weird to say the least. _Or maybe it was something she said_ …  
I pushed myself off the vehicle, ready to head inside since that was the only place where I could go and I wanted to relieve Jacqui from watching over Jim to let her rest a little while.  
“Hey, you will be coming with us when we leave in the morning, won’t you?” I turned to face Rick.  
“Where else would I go? I mean, it’s the only direction that makes sense at the moment.” His hand landed on my shoulder and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.  
“Thank you, Rachel.”  
“What for?”, I asked confused.  
“Tagging along. Being a valuable asset to this group. People might need time to open up but I want you to know I appreciate you for both your medical skills as well as your willingness to put your life on the line for everyone else’s sake.” I gave him a half smile.  
“It means a lot to hear that. And for what it’s worth, I think I am starting to like these people.” The cop squeezed my shoulder once more before leaving with Lori. I turned and got into the RV.  
“Why don’t you take a break and let me take over for a while?” Jacqui’s head snapped up, apparently she had almost dozed off. She rubbed her eyes and looked at me in the dim light.  
“I think a little rest would be great. He slept almost the whole time. I gave him some water and changed the towels. Is he gonna make it?” She looked at me with an expression that said she only wanted confirmation that he wouldn’t.  
“I don’t know. Maybe he will pull through but I wouldn’t get my hopes up high. The fever is already burning though his immune system and I can’t say if they will be able to do anything at the C.D.C. if he even makes the trip there.”, I answered and crossed my arms while leaning against one of the countertops. She nodded and let out a loud sigh.  
“I wish we just could do anything, you know?”, she whispered while passing by me. I took a hold of her hand for a second.  
“We are doing something. We keep him comfortable for as long as possible and don’t leave him all to himself. It may not seem much but believe me, it is worth more than gold right now.” Jacqui’s face relaxed a little and she nodded to my words. With a last look at Jim she finally left. When I walked to the back of the RV I saw that the book I had been reading earlier was still there, so I got as comfortable as possible after cleaning the bite again and replacing the towels with fresh ones.

When I came to my whole body hurt from the awkward position I had fallen asleep in and someone had draped a thin blanket over me. Sitting upright I looked over at Jim, who was still asleep. Putting a hand to his head confirmed that the fever had gotten worse during the night. I looked out of the rear window. The sky was a pale dark blue, the sun had not started to rise over the hills surrounding the camp yet. A soft knock on the door startled me and with aching bones I made my way over to open the door.  
“Oh. Didn’t expect you to be awake already.” T-Dog looked as if he had gotten about the same amount of sleep as I had.  
“Just woke up a couple of minutes ago. Need anything, T?”  
“No. I just wanted to see if you were still asleep and ask if you want me to take over until we leave if you were awake. I mean the way you slept didn’t look too comfortable.” I gave him a sheepish smile and stepped outside to let him in. I looked around and found everyone still fast asleep. A thought popped into my head and I poked my head back inside.  
“Hey, T-Dog. I’m gonna head out for a while, I think I saw something that could help with Jim’s condition yesterday.” The man gave me a worried look.  
“Want me to go with you?” I shook my head.  
“Nah. I can take care of myself. Besides I won't go far in case you guys decide to leave early.” He gave me another worried look before he sat back down, apparently aware that I wouldn’t let this go.  
“Don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know.” With that I disappeared with my bow slung over my shoulder.  
The morning air was already humid despite the night’s lingering chill. Good thing it was still summer. I walked as silently as possible through the camp, dogged tents and forgotten items alike until I reached the treelines until I came to the spot where we had come out after killing that first walker. Entering the forest was like entering another world this morning. Mist still clung between the tree’s roots and water drops had gathered in the leaves, hitting my naked skin as I brushed them aside. I walked on for a few minutes, taking mental notes on where I went so I would find my way back later. Finding the clearing where we had picked flowers with the kids was easy and only then did I slow down. I heard some soft and distant noises that I couldn’t place, so I stopped where the trees thinned out to pick up a small stone that I threw against a boulder a few feet from where I was standing. The sound was loud in the early morning’s silence and I waited for a response of sorts. I waited with my bow in my hands until I heard a twig snap a few seconds later and a low growl followed by the uncoordinated shuffling of feet. About eight feet or so from the boulder a walker emerged and snarled when it spotted me. Before it had fully rounded the stone, I had already released my arrow and the corpse hit the ground with a dull thud. I waited a little longer for any other sounds before I made my way over to retrieve my arrow and kneel down by the boulder.  
With a triumphant smile I found what I had been looking for. There between the bright flowers grew something most people ripped carelessly from their garden. White dead nettle. I laid down my bow and pulled out one of my knives to start cutting off the plant. I had no idea how much it would help Jim but it was worth a shot. I shoved as much of the leaves as possible into the small pouch I had brought along. Looking around I noticed the slight mist was clearing more and more and the light started to change with the sun beginning to rise just short of reaching the horizon. Content with what I found, I decided to get back. _Seems it paid off that grandpa hammered that stuff into our heads after all_ …  
Getting back was easy since we had taken almost the same path yesterday. Short of reaching the camp I let out a string of curses when I tripped over a root and scraped my elbow open. It stung and I could feel a little blood run down my arm. Before I knew what was happening, I was knocked off my feet and had a knife against my throat.  
“What the fuck?! Get off me!”, I yelped as a heavy body pressed mine down into the dirt. I stared up into angry brown eyes and attempted to wiggle free.  
“What the hell were you doing out there?!”, Shane growled and made no attempt to either get off me nor take the blade from my throat.  
“Picking daisies!”, I snapped back in anger and bucked up against him to throw him off.  
“Don’t get cocky. What. Did. You. Do?” His face was now inches from mine and I could feel his breath on my skin. I hated the pressure he was putting on me and cursed him for knowing how to prevent me from getting out from under him in this position.  
“Off her. Now.” An arrow was trained against Shane’s temple.  
“None of your fucking business.”, he snapped without taking his eyes off mine.  
“I can make it everyone’s business if ya like…” The arrow tapped the former cop’s skin again until he slowly got off me and I dared to take a deep breath with the weight now gone.  
“Whatever.” With another glare towards me and the hunter he stomped off.  
“Yer a’right?” I ignored the hand offered to me and got to my feet.  
“I’m fine.” Looking up I saw Daryl take me in for a moment before he grabbed my arm without warning to inspect where the blood came from.  
“Ya bit?” I ripped away from him and glared at the redneck.  
“I said I’m fine. I had it under control.” I knew it was unfair to lash out at him, that he had done nothing to deserve this. But my heart was pounding violently in my chest and a fear buried deep inside had clawed its way back to the surface when Shane had gotten on top of me. I just wanted to get away from Daryl before he could see the distress I was feeling. I practically ran back the short distance left to the camp and could hear Daryl follow while cursing out loud. Breaking through the treeline the awakening camp felt awfully loud and I just wanted to get back to the RV and close myself into the small toilet.  
“Ya forgot yer bow!” I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around to face the hunter while everyone who was already on their feet stared at us standing between the tents and where the vehicles were parked. I took two hesitant steps forward and reached out to take my weapon back careful not to meet his blue eyes.  
“Ya welcome.” His slightly challenging voice triggered something else inside me and I hated myself for the words that left my mouth next.  
“I don’t need a babysitter, Dixon!”  
“Yeah? Could’ve fooled me.”  
“Go to hell, asshole!”, I yelled and stormed towards the RV, shoving past a confused Glenn who barely got out of my way before I closed and locked the toilet’s door behind me. I could hear the commotion my outburst had caused outside and bit the knuckles of my right hand to prevent myself from sobbing. I felt the hot tears run down my cheeks and hated myself even more for them then for yelling at Daryl.  
“Fuck…”, I muttered when I realised he still had my bow. But I couldn’t go out there like this, not now. _Oh god! What if he tells anyone what happened out there_? I felt the anxiety rise. Hot and cold at the same time and my stomach an endless pit. I crouched down with my back against the wall and grabbed strands of my hair hoping the forming headache wouldn’t manifest into a full blown migraine. I couldn’t break down. Not now. Not after all this time. 

A soft knock on the door startled me, returning after a few seconds. It was so soft, I was wondering how long they had been knocking.  
“Sweety?”, a meek voice called out and I thought I could feel the ground shake softly beneath my feet.  
“Rachel? Are you okay in there?” Was that Carol? It had to be, nobody else had such a soft voice.  
“Sweety, please just talk to me.” I bit my knuckles again, a loud sob threatening to escape my throat, now that I knew for sure someone was just behind that door and possibly hearing every sound I made. I felt my stomach turn and bowed to my left and threw up.  
“Rachel, I am really worried for you. Please let me in or just tell me you are alright.” I leaned up as far as I dared and tried to keep my voice as steady as possible.  
“I might have eaten something that didn’t sit well with my stomach.” As if asking for it, I threw up again. Carol couldn’t come in here. One look at me and she would know.  
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything in there, sweety.”, she beeped one more time and I was glad she finally seemed to retreat from the door. Exhausted I fell back to the floor, tears silently rolling down my cheeks. _Nobody can know. Not now. Not ever_...  
By the rattling beneath me I was now fully convinced the RV was moving. So we were already on the road towards the C.D.C. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter helps a little to give some insight on Rachel's actions. I am aware that not everyone will agree with Shane's behaviour and that's fine. I just think the way he acted in my story makes sense since we all know how unstable he became after Rick's return. He tries to keep the group safe and Rachel butting heads with him hasn't exactly helped him being suspicious of her, so her disappearing into the woods might have triggered something for him. Same as his actions triggered some unwanted memories in her.  
> Hope you like the story so far and I would love if you'd let me know what you think (it would really help to get some form of feedback).


	10. On the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a littler filler between leaving the quarry and reaching the C.D.C. and gives me the chance to introduce another character of mine.  
> And I wanted to thank you for the continuous feedback I've been getting. Especially on the last chapter because I really wasn't sure if what I had in mind would play out right.

A sudden loud noise jostled me awake and I noticed the RV came to a slow halt. I let out a groan and pulled myself to my feet in the tight space of the toilet. A short look into the mirror confirmed that I should throw some water in my face before getting out. At least I had calmed down after falling asleep on the floor.  
I slowly opened the door and peeked outside seeing only Jacqui and Jim in the back, both sleeping, so I exited the vehicle. We were in the middle of some road, steam coming from the front of the RV while those who decided to come with us had gathered around.  
“What happened?”, I asked while walking closer.  
“Thank God! I thought you would never come out of there…” Carol pulled me into a tight hug before anyone else had the chance to say something. I hesitantly put my arms around her and met several pairs of eyes, which I didn’t dare to stare into for long. Especially one set of blue and brown eyes, both men a threat to me right now, both in their own ways.  
“‘I told you we'd never get far on that hose. I said I needed the one from the cube van.’” Dale emerged from the engine compartment and wiped his hands on a dirty rag. So the hose ripping had been the loud noise.  
“Do you feel better?” Carol finally let go of me and I nodded with a fake smile at her.  
“Yeah. Must have been something I ate.” She nodded and turned back around to listen to what the plan was now. Shane stated that he could make a gas station not far from where our convoy stopped and that there might be something to help us out. At the same time Jacqui came out of the RV and informed us that Jim’s condition was getting real bad.  
“‘Hey, Rick, you want to hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back.’”, Shane bellowed while Rick made his way over to the RV’s door and T-Dog was fast to state he would tag along.  
“‘Y'all keep your eyes open now. We'll be right back.’” With that he made for his Jeep when Rick nodded. Still he made a stop next to me and leaned down so only I would be able to hear him.  
“And you keep your feet still and your mouth shut, princess. You know, accidents happen so fast…” I looked up at him and felt my heart skip a beat at his words.  
“You just watch your own back, deputy.” I wouldn’t let him hold control over my emotions and like hell would I bow down to him. He let out an amused snort and followed T-Dog. With a small sigh I let my right hand fall back next to my thigh since I had involuntarily reached for my Glock when the ex-cop had approached me again. I looked away from his retreating form when a shadow fell on me.  
“You want me to go in there with you?” Rick shook his head.  
“I think this might be the last conversation he is having. I’ll let you know if he needs something. Why don’t you take a short walk, catch some air. You look really pale.” I slowly nodded as he entered the RV. I didn’t feel the need to be around people right now and maybe Rick was right, a short walk should help to set my mind back into place. I strolled off into the direction we must have come from, seeing some abandoned cars on the roadside which nobody seemed to have cared to check out. Getting closer I pulled out one of my knives and decided to go for the red Subaru at the far end of the small group of cars first. With a little effort I cracked open the trunk after checking the inside of the car for walkers. I jumped back a little when a hand emerged from the car and tried to grab me with a snarl. Imbedding my knife in its skull I quickly ended the walker trapped inside and pulled it out. Fully opening the trunk I was greeted by nothing but a bloodstained blanket and a half empty pack of cigarettes. Disappointed, I let my shoulders fall.  
Slow footsteps had me whirling around with my knife ready to strike since I faced the road with my back and expected a walker in front of me.  
“Jesus, get that outta my face.” I blinked at Daryl who seemed just as surprised as me. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Rick an’ the dead guy?” He lifted his crossbow up on his shoulder and watched me carefully.  
“I needed space. And nobody else seemed interested in these cars. Was worth a shot.” I shrugged my shoulders and leaned against the car with my arms crossed over my chest.  
“Find anything?” Instead of answering I threw the pack of cigarettes his way. He caught it mid-air and peeked inside.  
“Not bad.”, he mumbled and put them in his leather vest. I shrugged since I didn’t care much for the cigarettes and wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. Not that I would know what to say to him anyways, I was surprised he even talked to me after what I threw in his face earlier that day. I walked past him to check out the other cars which seemed to have already been searched some time ago. Deciding there was nothing left here, I started to walk back. Even if it hadn't been long, the short walk had helped a little to calm my nerves and bury those unwanted memories back deep inside.. At least for now. _Tonight might turn out to be not so great, though_ …

I was only a few feet away from the convoy when I heard Shane’s Jeep return from the gas station and slowed down a little which gave Daryl time to catch up and walk by without another word.  
“Found something that might help.”, I heard Shane’s voice and he handed something to Dale who nodded and turned back to the RV.  
“A little help here. And I need our doctor.” T-Dog was still half inside the Jeep and tried to get something out that was hidden by the door. Glenn jogged over to help and I froze where I was standing when they pulled a man from the Jeep’s backseat.  
“It can’t be…”, I whispered and rushed over to them. Without paying attention to anyone else I threw myself at the new arrival and wrapped my arms tight around his neck. He was thrown off balance by the impact and T-Dog was quick to catch us both with a grunt. I pulled back a few inches and took in the man’s appearance.  
“You look like shit.”, I stated with an almost cracking voice.  
“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” I let out a loud laugh and hugged him tight again.  
“I can’t believe you are alive, you asshole.”, I whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek.  
“You know each other?” I smiled at Glenn.  
“A little. He is my brother.” Everyone around us stared between the two of us, which I could understand completely. Since we were so different, people often didn’t believe we were siblings.  
“What happened with your leg?” I only now realised that he was leaning on his right leg and there was blood on the left one.  
“Found him inside the gas station. He was trapped under a cooler.” I nodded and pointed towards the RV.  
“Get him inside, will you? I’ll be there in a minute.” I pecked Adam’s cheek once more before T-Dog and Glenn helped him get to the RV. I slowly walked over to Rick, wanting to know how Jim was doing.  
“‘We just leave him here? We take off? Man, I'm not sure I could live with that.’” I was taken aback by Shane’s sudden outburst of humanity.  
“What are you talking about? Who do you want to leave behind?” All heads turned my way, apparently they hadn’t noticed me approaching.  
“Stay out of this, princess.” I glared back at Shane. There he was. _That’s more like him_.  
“No, she should know. Jim wants us to leave him here. He is in pain and the RV moving isn’t helping with that. I don’t know Rachel… He wants us to just leave him to die.” Rick had one hand on his hip and the other kneaded his neck uncomfortably. I let out a heavy sigh.  
“‘It's not your call, either one of you.’”, Lori chimed in and I agreed with her.  
“She is right. It’s his decision how he wants to go out. And if he can’t take the movement and the pain anymore then let him at least go in peace and on his own terms.” Rick let out another heavy sigh and I knew how he felt. It was like pulling the trigger yourself but it was Jim’s life. And if he wanted to be left behind we should respect that. Rick nodded at Shane and they walked towards the RV to carry Jim outside. When they passed by me they stopped for a second at the dying man’s sign. He motioned for me to come closer and I carefully took his hand.  
“Thank you for trying.” I squeezed his hand in return, not able to form words with my throat feeling tight. My eyes followed them when they carried him away and I soon turned away and entered the RV.  
T-Dog and Glenn had sat my brother down on the bench at the small table opposite the entrance. Adam pushed himself up into standing and held his arms open for me. Much more careful than before I slid my arms around him and leaned against his chest. Seconds later I realised I was sobbing and my tears stained his shirt.  
“I thought I would never see you again, you idiot.”, I sobbed.  
“Me neither…” His voice cracked while he rested his head on top of mine.  
“Mom and Dad… Did they… Are they…” I couldn’t bring myself to end the question, too afraid of the answer.  
“I don’t know. They never made it to Savannah and I didn’t reach their phone. I had no idea where they sent you and if you were still alive and kicking… I thought I was the only one left.” Adam’s arms tightened around me and I let out a heavy sigh.  
“I am glad at least you made it.” I looked up at him and gave him a sad smile. Returning it he gently cupped my cheek and laid his head against mine.  
“We might not always have seen eye to eye but I missed you every day you weren’t around and I thought you were dead…”, Adam replied with a low voice and I heard the slight trembling in them.  
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt anythin’.” I turned my head to see Daryl standing in the door, looking awkwardly to the side and biting the inside of his cheek again.  
“You didn’t. What’s up?” The hunter looked back up at me, something in his eyes I couldn’t quite say what it was.  
“Dale’s got the hose fixed an’ Rick wants ta leave. Wanted me ta make sure ya two were good ta go. Give ya the heads up yer buddy can stay in the RV.” I noticed how his accent was stronger again, so clearly he was upset about something. “An’ I still got yer bow if ya want it back…” With that he just left.  
“Is he always like that?”, Adam asked and I looked back at my brother.  
“Still haven’t figured him out completely. But I think he is a good guy, most of the time at least. I’m gonna patch you up in a minute, just need to get my stuff back before we leave.” I helped my brother sit back down before I went back out and over to Daryl’s car with his brother’s motorcycle back in the truck bed.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daryl had been ready to put an arrow through that asshole's head the minute he knocked Rachel over. He didn’t really recall why he had decided to follow her into the woods when he saw her leave early in the morning. He knew she could take care of herself, still he had been a little worried when he saw Shane was following her. With the way the former cop had been eying her since she first talked back at him, the hunter wasn’t sure what his intentions were. And he’d be damned if he left her out there alone with him. He owed her that much for going back for his brother.  
For a short moment he had lost track of Rachel and when he caught up again, Shane had just knocked her down. On top of her he had pressed a knife to her throat and after fighting back at first Daryl had been surprised and shocked how she went still all of a sudden. That was when he stepped in, telling Shane to get off her. He had only gotten a short glimpse of her face afterwards since she refused to look at him directly but what he saw there wasn’t the woman she had been these past days. When she just took off, he grabbed her abandoned bow and went after her only for her to lash out at him.  
“Go to hell, asshole!” And she just stormed off, almost knocking Glenn on his ass since the Korean wasn’t fast enough to get out of her way.  
“Yeah, whatever!”, Daryl had yelled after her but with no effect.  
Going back to his tent he was aware that everyone still stared at him but quickly looked away when he glared at them. Everyone still asleep must have been woken by them screaming at each other. He didn’t know why she had been so pissed at him. He didn’t do anything but get that punk off her and that’s what it got him. With an angry growl he kicked his water bucket against the nearest tree and cursed himself for trying to help.  
After strapping Merle’s bike in and getting his stuff loaded in his car he sat behind the wheel and waited for the others to finally be ready for takeoff. Since Rachel didn’t come out of the RV again and he didn’t plan on going over to her so he just put her bow in the truck bed with his brother’s bike. Somehow he was still wondering what Shane had in mind back there. If he wanted to slit her throat and leave her to bleed out or do something worse to her just for payback.

Finally on the road they didn’t make it far until the next problem occured in the form of a ripped hose in the RV. Annoyed Daryl got out of his truck and watched Shane and T-Dog leave for some gas station a little up ahead the road. Rick disappeared inside the RV to talk to Jim and Rachel took off on her own again. With an annoyed sigh the hunter registered that the new widow Carol was making her way over to him.  
“What ya want?” She flinched and hugged herself.  
“Could you watch out for Rachel? I don’t know where she is off to but I am worried after she closed herself into that toilet for hours. I…”  
“Why would I care? Ain’t her babysitter.”, he interrupted the woman and effectively shut her up. She looked at him with big doe eyes.  
“Please. If something happens to her…”, Carol continued despite his statement.  
“Jeez woman! I’m goin’... Just get outta my hair a’ready!” Daryl grabbed his crossbow and followed Rachel down the road they had been on for the past hours. He found her scavenging a small group of abandoned cars and almost got stabbed by her when she suddenly turned around, expecting him to be a walker. When he asked what she found, she just tossed half a package of cigarettes at him and made her way back towards the other after the other cars checked out to be useless.  
They got back with the others just seconds before Shane and T-Dog. To his and everyone’s surprise they pulled another person from the Jeep. The guy looked pretty beat up with his left leg clearly injured. Next thing he knew Rachel suddenly threw herself at the stranger, apparently knowing him. Daryl didn’t know why it bothered him so much that she was so happy to see this guy with his stupid model face and dark hait in a ponytail. He scoffed and went back to his car, to check if the bike was still strapped in tight before Rick approached him.  
“Daryl!” He turned to see Rick a few feet away and beckoning him over.  
“Could you check on Rachel, tell her we’re leaving? Just make sure she got that new guy patched up.” Letting out an annoyed growl the hunter shook his head.  
“The hell y’all think I am? Some arrendboy? What’s with ya today that everyone wants somethin’ from me?!” He was getting pissed about everyone wanting something today and him only getting kicked in the ass for it.  
“I need to take care of Jim. Just this once, I’m gonna make sure no one bothers you again.” Throwing his hands in the air Daryl turned around and made for the RV. _Yeah, be a good little dog, Daryllina_!  
“Shut up!”, he grumbled at his brother’s voice in his head, knowing Merle would tear him a new one for doing Rick’s business. Opening the RV’s door he felt like someone punched him in the balls. Rachel was standing close to that new guy, her face in his hands and almost close enough to kiss.  
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt anythin’.”, he mumbled and was ready to bolt when Rachel turned to him, asking what he wanted. He gave her the heads up just like Rick wanted and on a whim told her that he still had her bow before leaving the awkward scene.  
Trudging back to his car the hunter kicked off stones, his mood going south once more today. _Told ya that would happen. Did ya really think she’d look at ya twice with a pretty boy like that around_? He hated his brother’s voice being so loud in his head today. He didn’t know what he was thinking. Certainly nothing like that. He didn’t even really know her and apart from that he knew that even if he liked her, she was too good for him in every sense.  
“Daryl wait!” Damn that voice too… He turned around to see Rachel was jogging after him.  
“What?”, he asked a little harsher than he meant to.  
“You said you still have my bow.” He nodded and motioned for her to follow him. Reaching inside the truck bed he retrieved it to hand it back to the woman next to him.  
“Already patched your boyfriend up?” He bit his tongue as the question slipped past his lips. Rachel gave him a confused look, the gears in her head obviously turning.  
“Don’t know about any boyfriend but no, I haven’t patched my brother up yet. I figured he would survive a few more minutes.” Daryl bit the inside of his cheek and made to say something when a loud noise caught them off guard.  
“Let’s roll!”, Shane bellowed and had everyone get back into their vehicles again. Before he had set one foot inside his, the hunter felt warm fingers on his arm.  
“Hey… I meant to thank you for this morning. And I wanted to apologize for lashing out at you.” He looked at Rachel and nodded. With a soft smile she took her hand away and turned to leave before stopping again.  
“I know I am in no position to ask this of you but I’d appreciate it if nobody knew what Shane did. I… Just please don’t tell anybody.” Her request stirred something inside his guts, a feeling that this was about more than just the fact that the cop had intimidated her.  
“If that’s what ya want.”, he replied and watched her walk away.


	11. Common ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so originally I planned on getting season 1 finished with this chapter and move on to season 2. But things took a different turn in the process of writing and so I decided to devide the chapter in two parts. Also I'd like to know what you think about getting Daryl's point of view now and again, since I think it helps understand some actions a little better (maybe it is just that I like to give his perspective on things from time to time).

Patching up Adam hadn't been such a big deal after all. Apart from the cut on his upper thigh it was mainly bruises and sore muscles. The only thing that had changed was that Jacqui was now riding with T-Dog and Andrea had taken her place in the RV and Carol was now again back with her daughter. I didn't really want to get into any conversation with Andrea though, her mood now even quicker to change than before what happened with her sister. I looked over at Adam cleaning his pistol and pondered that in a way I understood the blonde. Still I had no connection with her at all, apart from being in this together.  
A nudge against my shoulder had me turning and I saw it had been my brother who nudged me with his shoe.  
"What are you thinking about, squid?" I scrunched up my nose, I always hated that nickname since it remembered me of how tiny and helpless I once was.  
"Just wondering how you managed to survive that long, idiot." He gave me one of his lopsided grins and turned his eyes back on his dismantled gun.  
"For your sake, I had close calls more than once." I noticed Andrea looking between the two of us.  
"You are really siblings? You look nothing alike.", she finally spoke up and Adam laughed.  
"Yeah, we get that a lot. Same mom, same dad. We just came out two sides of one coin. And for the record, I got the brains." I rolled my eyes and slapped his healthy leg.  
"Keep telling yourself that, genius. Your track record says different." He chuckled and looked down at me again as I was still sitting on the RV's floor.  
"Still you are the one who thought it was a bright idea to get into the military." My smile dropped and I looked at my hands in my lap before I got to my feet.  
"Shut up, Adam!", I snapped and went to the front to ask Glenn to let me take the passenger's seat for a while. I could hear Adam and Andrea talk in the back while I stared out of the window. _What a surprise… Put someone like Andrea in front of him and it's highschool all over_.  
"A penny for your thoughts." I turned my head to look at Dale and then back into the exterior mirror through the slightly opened window.  
"It's nothing. I love Adam but he sometimes gets me riled up in no time because he doesn't think before he talks. Except for when he tries to get laid…", I responded dryly and watched Daryl's truck behind us. Something else I couldn't quite figure out. _One second he is nice and the next he pushes everyone around him away. And what was that stupid comment about Adam being my boyfriend_? The hunter was as frustrating as a book with seven seals and the keys scattered across the whole continent.  
"... between brothers and sisters, especially with a younger sister." I shook my head and tried to focus on what Dale was saying. How long had I zoned out?  
"Are you sure you are alright?", Dale suddenly asked, apparently aware that I didn't pay attention.  
"Yeah, peachy.", I replied with a sigh and kept watching the vehicle behind us and tried to tune out my brother hitting on Andrea.  
"What happened between you and Daryl this morning? It sure did get to you." I cringed. Of course he would have picked up on that.  
"Nothing that needs to be talked about." I really didn't want to have this conversation right now.  
"Rachel, if you ever need someone to talk to, I am told I am good at listening." I faced the older man again and gave him a forced smile.  
"Thank you, Dale." He nodded and concentrated on Rick's car in front of us again.  
"Whatever it was, Daryl will not talk to anyone about it if that's what you're worried about. Boy likes to keep to himself." He clapped his hand on my shoulder without looking at me and I felt myself relax a little.

I sat up a little straighter once the first buildings came into view shortly before the sun started setting. Letting out a string of curses I leaned out of the window. The streets and the complete perimeter were littered with dead bodies, both human and walkers alike. I jumped out the second the RV came to a halt and grabbed my bow from Adam before taking a few hesitant steps to get a better look at what we were dealing with. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn around, the stench of death and decay almost unbearable and flies swarming around the bodies. Whatever happened here, it had been a massacre.  
I flinched when Shane started giving orders to move along towards the huge compound that was the C.D.C. but stayed behind as our people started to follow the former cop's orders.  
"You okay?" I gave Daryl a short sideways glance before I watched Glenn help my brother towards the building.  
"Yes. Not the first time I see so many bodies. Still it feels wrong. Not that something like this ever would feel right but…", I didn't know how to explain what was bugging me about this.  
"Yeah. I get it. It's not war. It just feels like slaughter." I nodded at the hunter's statement.  
"Hey! Get moving you two!", Shane waved at us since we were the only ones that had stayed behind a little. With an annoyed sigh I started walking. I hated this guy and his whole demeanor.

When we arrived at the entrance with the rest of our group, Shane and Rick were pounding on the shutters to open up to no avail.  
"'There's nobody here.'", T-Dog exclaimed and my stomach dropped. So much for this option.  
"'Walkers!'" I followed Daryl's gaze and readied my bow when he shot the one closest to us. All that pounding on the blocked entrance must have attracted them to us and more were gathering by the minute.  
"'You led us into a graveyard!'", the hunter yelled back to noone in particular and Shane bellowed back.  
"Can we talk about whose fault it is later?!", I yelled at them and shot an arrow into an approaching walker. Clearing a gap in between the approaching corpses I retrieved my arrows and plunged one of my knives into another one when suddenly a bolt sirred past me. I looked back at Daryl and gave him a nod before taking out another walker.  
"'Everybody get back to the cars now!'", Shane's voice cut through the tense air when it was clear that we were not getting into the compound. Cursing I retreated to better shield the others.  
"Rachel!" I was shoved back and landed hard on my butt, my brother now in front of me and struggling to fend off the walker that had nearly torn me apart with his bare hands. In horror and unable to move I watched as its jaws snapped shut short of Adam's jugular. A second later the corpse dropped with a bolt between its eyes.  
"Hey. Ya done dreamin' around?", Daryl's gruff voice brought me out of my stupor and I let him pull me back to my feet. After checking Adam wasn't hurt I resumed to help the hunter keep the walkers at bay so we would be able to get back to our cars. Right as we were ready to make a run for the vehicles the shutters behind us rose up, drowning the darkened surroundings and our group in bright light.

Rick and Shane started ushering our people inside, Shane ordering Daryl to bring up the rear which earned him an annoyed eye roll from the hunter, still he did it. I decided to stay back to help him keep the walkers off long enough which in return earned me another bark from Shane that I just ignored.  
"Ya know he's gonna hand yer ass to ya for that later, right?", Daryl growled for only me to hear.  
"I know." I slammed my knife into a walker that had gotten too close. "And I don't care." The hunter just hummed to that when I heard a loud thud behind me and turned to see Sophia on the floor, her ankle trapped in some wire and a walker almost on her.  
"Shit!", I exclaimed and rushed over. Disposing of the walker I cut the girl loose and brought her up into my arms once more.  
"Come on, Daryl!", I yelled back and jogged over towards the others, arriving at the door together with him. I sat the girl down and she immediately ran to her mother, who I gave a reassuring smile.  
"'You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed.'" I only now noticed the man with a lowered shotgun in his hands standing at the end of the short corridor we were in. Daryl, Rick, Shane and Glenn jogged back out to retrieve the duffle bags with our essentials and came back before the shutters slammed down again, closing us in and the dead outside. The man, Jenner Rick informed me, led us towards an elevator, just big enough to contain all of our group.  
I stood to the back, arms crossed over my chest and nervously chewed on my lower lip.  
"What's wrong squid?" I shot a glare at Adam.  
"Stop calling me that. I'm not ten anymore. And nothing's wrong." I looked back to the front almost in the mood to bare my teeth and snarl at Shane when I noticed his eyes on me again.  
"You sure as hell don't look like it…", Adam continued despite my voice having that warning undertone he should know well enough.  
"Something just feels off. Satisfied? Besides. What the hell were you thinking out there?!" Now I turned to face him as good as possible in the confined space and caught him making a face for a second.  
"I am not going to apologize, Rachel. That thing almost bit you."  
"You can barely stand on your own two feet, you idiot!" The people closest to us were starting to shift from one foot to the other uncomfortably at our dispute.  
"What was I supposed to do? Let my little sister get chewed up by one of those freaks?!"  
"I had it under control! I made it this far without you treating me like I don't know how to protect myself! You…" An arm snuck around my waist and gently shoved me a few feet back until the person was between me and my brother.  
"A'right. That's 'nough for now." I gave Daryl a confused look and for once he kept his eyes on mine instead of looking away. There was no judgement in them, more some form of understanding from one younger sibling to the other.  
"Fine…", I breathed but still felt unable to turn my gaze from the hunter's blue orbs for another few seconds until I felt a small body wrap around my middle. I looked down and Sophia beamed up at me.  
"You okay?", I asked her with a soft smile. I was starting to get quite attached to the blonde girl, maybe because she reminded me a little of myself. She nodded and tightened her arms even more around my waist.  
"I was scared…", she whispered.  
"It's okay to be scared, Sophia." I laid my hand protectively on her head and looked up to find Carol. The woman watched her daughter with a genuinely happy smile, one I hadn't seen on her often when Ed was still around.

Once the elevator came to a halt, Jenner led us through a longer underground hallway until we reached a darkened open room that turned out to be quite large once the light was on.  
"'Welcome to zone 5.'", Jenner welcomed us and told Rick that he was the only one left when the cop asked where everyone else was. It turned out the person he spoke to, Vi, was actually a computer or kind of an intelligent computer system that reacted when spoken to. The only living resident asked us all to take a seat while he got everything ready to take blood samples from everyone.  
I cringed and took a hold of Adam's hand when it was my turn. I hated needles and Jenner wasn't exactly gentle about the procedure.  
"Son of a bitch, should have done it myself…", I mumbled when I stepped away, pressing down on the puncture to stop the blood from trickling out.  
"Language!" I looked up at Shane and felt the heat rise in my blood again.  
"Can you for just one day stop to act like a total dick?", I snapped in a hushed voice for the kids's sake, unable to keep my mouth shut.  
"Can you for just one day not piss me off?", he shot back and I shook my head in disbelief.  
"Excuse me? I am not the one constantly getting in your face. You know what? Forget it, I am so done with you for today." I tried to push past him, only for him to step in my way again.  
"Drop the tough act, princess. Maybe your problem isn't with me. Maybe you're just not used to not getting what you want. Maybe you just need to get laid and that attitude fucked out of you." I started to tremble in anger at his words. Who did he think he was?  
"I swear to God, Shane…"  
"Let's grab some food." I almost fell on my face when without a warning Daryl grabbed my arm hard and dragged me with him and away from a fuming Shane. When we came across Adam, he gave me a confused look and I just shook my head and indicated to him to just follow us. Finally Daryl let go of me once we reached what must have been the cafeteria once. Rubbing my arm where I could still feel where his fingers had dug into my skin, I slumped down on a chair next to my brother while the others one by one filled into the room and got seated.

Half an hour later we were having pasta and Jenner had even found us several bottles of wine. I was stuffing myself full with the pasta, not really able to remember anymore when the last time was I had something this good and warm that wasn’t rodents or canned food. Except for most of the others I didn’t touch the wine. I had never been one to care much for alcohol anyways and I didn’t plan on starting to drink now.  
“Ya not gonna have a drink?”, Daryl asked from two seats over, Glenn and my brother between us, with a bottle of whiskey in hand. I just shook my head to which he shrugged and focused back on getting Glenn drunk. It made me smile a little, seeing him interact with the others for once was nice. On the other side of the table a discussion broke loose when Carl stated that he also wanted to have some wine, which ended in him trying and scrunching up his face in disgust.  
“Good boy.”, I mumbled around another fork of noodles.  
“Hey, Rach. What’s with you and the redneck?” I almost choked on my food and gave Adam a hard stare.  
“What the hell are you talking about again?”, I hissed at him, glad everyone else was already too drunk or occupied otherwise to pay attention to our conversation. I knew my brother had also downed a couple of glasses already but still…  
“Come on, sis. The way you two act around each other? I mean, I never thought you’d go for some redneck but whatever suits you.” He flinched when I hit his shoulder hard.  
“Ouch! What the fuck?”, he exclaimed and rubbed his arm with a hint of tears in his eyes. Good! Serves him right.  
“Stop calling him that, he is not one of those dumb, inbreed, white hillbillies!”, I snapped with a leveled voice, not wanting to draw attention to us arguing again. “And just so you know, you should take a reality check. I am not constantly looking to get laid like someone else I know! She just lost her sister and you already try getting in her pants? What would mom say about that?” I hated fighting with my brother. I had just gotten him back and already I wished he wasn’t here. It had always been like this with us, couldn’t live together but not be apart for long either.  
“Mom’s dead, Rachel! She doesn’t have an opinion on anything anymore.” Adam’s voice was slowly rising above a whispered shout but at this point I stopped caring.  
“You are such an asshole, Adam Thompson! You haven’t changed one bit. Have it your way or none! Just like always. Know what? Fuck you!”, I yelled at him, ignoring that everyone’s attention was on us now. I jumped to my feet so fast that my chair fell over and just stormed out of the room in a fit. I had no idea where I was going, not that I would have cared much, I just needed to get away.

Turning left I found myself in some kind of library with a comfy looking couch. I let myself fall down on it and pulled my knees up, already feeling the hot prickling of tears in the corner of my eyes. I wasn’t even sure if they were from anger or hurt. I buried my head against my knees and just let the tears flow freely. What did I care if someone came in? Nobody knew where I went anyways.  
“Older brothers, huh?” My head shot up and through blurry eyes I could make out Daryl. I let out a frustrated sigh and tried to wipe the tears away, not wanting to let him see me like this.  
“What do you want, Dixon?” Instead of answering he kept leaning against the doorframe with the bottle of whiskey still in his hand.  
“Fine. Don’t talk to me.” I turned my head away and focused on the bookshelves there. Or at least I tried to until I felt the cushion of the couch dip down a little more under the extra weight. I looked back when I felt a tap against my elbow and stared at the bottle held out to me. With a scoff I grabbed it and took a swig despite my intention not to drink. I scrunched up my face when the liquid burned down its way from my throat to my stomach and washed the feeling down with another swig right after.  
“Easy. Leave me somethin’.” The man next to me took the bottle back and we sat in silence for a few minutes, both just staring at the carpet.  
“Big brothers can be a pain in the ass.”, Daryl finally spoke up.  
“Yeah, tell me about it.”, I whispered back, my voice hoarse from the yelling and the whiskey.  
“Just thought ya were glad ta have ‘im back. ‘Least seemed like it back on the road.” I let out a snort.  
“Don’t get me wrong. I was glad at first but right now I just wish he never showed up. He will just abandon me again at first sight of trouble anyways…” When I didn’t get a response I looked over just for Daryl to look back with a solemn expression on his face.  
“He did that before?”, he finally asked.  
“More than once. When my Dad had an accident fifteen years ago and ended up in the wheelchair he just took off with some buddies. Left me and my mom to deal with the aftermath. Came back two years later, totally broke. I wanted to go to college but Adam persuaded dad to give him some money because he had that idea of opening his own restaurant. Of course that fell through and he then up and left and there was no money to give me the chance to study medicine. Was mere coincidence I got enlisted then and after basic training and such I switched carriers and became a paramedic for the army. Every dollar I earned I spent on my education and on paying my parents back for what Adam took. Then there was the incident in my company and… Never mind.” I finally stopped talking, only now aware that I had just rambled on without considering that Daryl might not even be interested in my family drama.  
“Ain’t nothin’ like fam’ly… What happened in the military?” He still had that thoughtful expression on him and watched me with interest.  
“Not gonna talk about that. Bad enough Adam knows and keeps blaming me for it.” I closed off immediately, well aware that I should have been more aware of what I said.  
“That the reason why ya act ‘round Shane the way ya do? ‘Cause what happened t’ya?” I tensed up and felt myself dig my nails into my skin.  
“Forget ‘bout it.”  
“I am sorry. I just can’t talk about it… I buried it all deep inside and am afraid of what might happen if I let it back up… I learned to live with the consequences.”, I tried to justify my unwillingness to talk about it.  
“Don’t need ta explain ya self.” He held out the bottle to me again and I took it.  
“Sorry for dumping my shit on you. I know you keep to yourself because you don’t want exactly that. People crowding you with their problems.” He only hummed to that when I handed back the bottle, feeling I had more than enough alcohol.  
“For what it’s worth, I hope Merle is alright. I might not have known him for long but I understand he is your family and you want him back.” Daryl leaned forward on his knees and shook his head.  
“Ain’t the first time he just left me. He’s an asshole but only fam’ly I got. Should’ve left with him, saved the others the trouble…” I caught him by surprise when I took one of his hands without thinking.  
“You are nothing like your brother! The others might still only see Merle’s brother and someone that doesn’t care to be part of the group. But that doesn’t make it true unless you let it. I understand why you keep to yourself, hell I did it most of my life. But you are a better person than your brother will ever be.” He stared at my hand still holding on to his and started biting the insides of his cheeks again.  
“Ya don’t even know me.”, he accused and pulled his hand out of mine while getting to his feet.  
“Right. I don’t… Sorry I don’t think of you as just the dumbass redneck and Merle’s tag-along everybody else seems to have labeled you as.” I got to my feet and made to leave. Frustrated by the direction this conversation had taken. Maybe he was right and I had read him completely wrong.  
“Wait.”, he sighed and held his arm out to keep me from leaving. I looked up at him, realising how close we were standing. He opened his mouth when someone poked their head in.

“There you are. Doctor Jenner told us there are hot showers. Thought you two might want to know… I can come back later.” Carol’s voice thinned out towards the end. I stepped around the hunter without sparing him another glance.  
“A hot shower is exactly what I need.”, I exclaimed and Carol took my hand with a smile to show me the way.  
“Oh I put your things in this room. Adam didn’t seem like he would do it…”. She pointed towards a room to our right where I could see my backpack and weapons.  
“Thank you, Carol.”  
“It’s the least I can do for you, honey. You saved my daughter twice now. I don’t know how I could ever make it up to you. Sophia has taken quite the liking to you, she keeps talking about you a lot.” Despite my sour mood I felt a smile play along my lips.  
“The feeling is mutual. She is a smart kid, strong like her mother when she isn’t afraid.” The older woman gave me a look that said she wasn’t so sure about this.  
“Look, I have a pretty good idea what your relationship with Ed was like and I am sure Sophia suffered from it as well. But you survived it, you endured it for your kid. If that’s not strong, I don’t know what is.” We stopped and Carol embraced me again.  
“Thank you, Rachel. I am still adjusting to not being afraid of a shadow anymore. I wish I could have been more like you when I was younger. It might have saved me some years of hardship.” I squeezed her hand.  
“Whenever you need to talk.” She nodded thankfully and showed me where the sowers were before we parted ways for now.


	12. Up in flames

The hot water trickling down my body felt like heaven. I watched as dirt and blood were slowly washed down the drain and stood there for as long as I could, just enjoying the water on my skin. After what felt like forever I finally shut off the water and stepped out to dry off. I was the last one to take a shower so I wasn’t concerned with anybody walking by and seeing me naked.  
Wrapping myself in a big towel and grabbing my few hygiene items I left the showers. The hallway was cold compared to the hot tiled room behind me. Padding down the hallway towards my room I heard voices. One was definitely Lori and something was wrong. I crept towards where her voice came from and almost had a door smashed in my face when an angry Shane suddenly burst through it. I let out a gasp and he instantly turned towards me. He just stood there and eyed me up, which had me feeling naked despite the thick towel. He slammed the door shut and made two big steps in my direction which had me backing up against the nearest wall unintentionally.  
“What are you looking at?” I hated how close he was again and felt his breath on my exposed and still a little damp skin.  
“Nothing! Didn’t expect a door getting slammed in my face, that’s all.”, I growled back to which he only hummed in annoyance. He grabbed a strand of my wet hair and started wrapping it around his fingers.  
“You sure about that, princess? Come on, the way you look at me… I bet you wondered what’s under those clothes at least once. What do you say? Wanna find out? Get some action with a real man?” I could smell the alcohol on his breath and turned my face a little to the side. His hand wandered to my cheek and then my chin and he made me look at him again.  
“Come on, princess. Stop playing hard to get.” I pushed against his chest as hard as I could and he stumbled back a little  
“You are drunk! Sleep it off, Shane!” I pushed past him, angry that he thought after all he had thrown in my face up until now, I would just say yes to sex with him.  
“We both know you want it!”, he slurred behind me and I just turned to flip him the bird.  
“Oh and I’d do something about those scratches. Wouldn’t want anybody to get the wrong idea, deputy.” I pointed to my neck, the same place some angry red scratch marks were forming on his neck. I turned and walked down the hall, the gears in my head already turning. _Bet Lori gave those to him. But why? Those two seemed to get along just fine… I wonder if it has something to do with Rick still being alive_.  
Deep in thought I stumbled when I walked straight into someone else.  
“For the love of God! Carl. What are you doing out here? Didn’t your mom put you to bed?” The boy looked up at me and his cheeks turned a bright crimson red.  
“Couldn’t sleep. I tried to find the cafeteria…” I leaned my head to the side a bit and gave him a questioning look.  
“And what would you want there in the middle of night?”  
“Ice cream…” He gave me a sheepish smile and I rolled my eyes.  
“Let me get dressed. You are not wandering around alone. Come.” I turned him around and pushed him in front of me until we reached the room Carol had pointed out to me earlier. Once I was dressed again I put my hair into a loose braid to dry. Before leaving my room I grabbed both blankets from the cot just in case we would get cold. Stepping back outside Carl had patiently waited for me to return. I held my hand out to him and he grabbed it. After a few minutes of searching we found our way back and excitedly the boy started searching for dessert.  
“Yes!”, I heard him from the other side of the room and followed. With a big goofy smile he was holding up one of those big ice cream buckets.  
“Found it. There is so many! Which do you want? There is chocolate, vanilla, peanuts, strawberry…” I let out a small laugh and he stopped.  
“I think one bucket should be enough for the two of us. Which one do you have there?” I pointed to the one he was still holding on to and after rearranging the bucket a little he told me it was chocolate with cookies.  
“Alright. Let’s take that one and leave the rest for later.” He followed me back into the dining area where I had laid out the blankets. We sat next to each other and were sharing the little treat we had found. Me with a little more self control than Carl. I smiled with the tip of the spoon still against my lips. It was nice to see the boy be able to act like the world was still in one piece for once. I had to convince Carl that it was enough at one point with some protest from him. But the promise to sit and answer every question he wanted after he put back the ice cream got him to comply quickly.

“Rules. You only get to ask one question at a time. No interrupting me. And no complaints if there is a question I think you shouldn’t know the answer to. Understood?” He nodded eagerly and sat up straight.  
“Okay. First question.” He thought about it for a second before a big smile appeared on his face.  
“How old are you?” I let out a loud laugh.  
“Really? That’s what you chose to ask me first? Fine. I am 27. Turning 28 next summer.” When he voiced that he thought I was younger I gave him a faked angry stare before bursting into laughter again.  
“Are you happy to be with us? Or do you leave with your brother?” I turned serious when he spoke up again.  
“That’s two questions, young man. But yes, I am happy to have found your dad and you guys. It’s starting to feel like family, at least with most people. And why would I leave with Adam? It’s safer in a group. And I would miss having ice cream with you late at night.” My answer seemed to make him happy.  
“Good. I don’t want you to leave. Shane doesn’t like you but I think you are a good person. You have to be, you brought my dad back and helped Sophia.” I rubbed his back when he hugged me out of nowhere.  
“Did Shane say that to you?”, I asked him softly, wondering where he had picked up on that.  
“I heard him talk to mom. He said she shouldn’t let me near you. That he doesn’t trust you and that you won’t be around much longer anyways.” I felt the anger boil up in me again. But I wouldn’t say anything in front of the kid. I just wondered what kind of relationship Lori and her husband’s best friend had that he would tell her what to do concerning her son.  
“Can you show me how to kill walkers?” His question caught me completely off guard.  
“You want me to do what?”, I asked just to make sure I heard him right.  
“I want to protect my mom. And you are not afraid of the walkers. Nobody else will show me. Mom and Shane say I am too young.”, he pouted and looked up at me.  
“Look Carl, I can’t just promise you to teach you something like that. I need to ask your parents for permission. In a way they are right, it is dangerous for a kid, even one so grown up like you. Don’t give me that look, mister. I’ll talk to your dad about it. Why haven’t you asked him to teach you?” The boy had crossed his arms and was giving me a disappointed glare.  
“When mom says no, my dad will take her side. Please! Make him say yes!” I shook my head, what a stubborn child, and promised him that I would try to convince his father to show him at least how to use a knife.  
After asking me some more questions like what my favourite colour was and if I had pets Carl finally drifted off to sleep. I didn’t want to wake him up again so I pulled the second blanket around us and got as comfortable as possible on the floor. It wasn’t long until my eyes fell shut as well.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Carl! Carl, where are you!” I woke up from a high pitched scream and was a little disoriented. Looking around I slowly recognised the cafeteria and next to me a still fast asleep Carl mumbled something.  
“Calm down. He has to be somewhere.”, a second voice joined.  
“CARL!”, despite the effort to calm her down, Lori screamed for her son again. I heard footsteps and a moment later someone entered the cafeteria. I squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden flood of light.  
“Damn it woman, stop hollering already. He is in here.” More feet came running and my vision slowly cleared.  
“Thank God.” Lori stood in front of us and looked down at her wakening son still curled against my side.  
“What were you thinking Carl? You can’t just run off and don’t tell me where you go!”, she reprimanded him.  
“But Rachel was with me…” I gave the woman an innocent shrug while gathering the blankets and wanted to tell her what we did but didn’t get a chance.  
“She should have known better than to wander off as well!” I made a face when Shane appeared beside Lori and looked down on me. I couldn’t stand everybody looking down onto me and got to my feet.  
“We are in a goddamn government facility that has been closed off to anything out there. He wanted some ice cream for heaven’s sake. I’m not gonna apologise for making him feel normal for one evening.” I shoved past Shane and headed for my room. In the doorway, Daryl stood with his arms crossed but I chose to ignore him. Back in my room I folded the blankets and put them back on the unused cot.  
“Rachel?” I turned to see Adam in my doorway and turned back to my bed with a huff.  
“What?”, I snapped, refusing to look at him.  
“Can we talk, Rach?” I gave him another scrutinizing look before I agreed. He sat down on my cot and looked up at me like a kid that stole a candy bar.  
“I am sorry. I was a dick yesterday.”  
“Yeah, no kidding. It’s always like that with you, Adam. You act like a dick, treat me like shit and later you come apologising but we both know you will do it again. Same as you left us time and time again. What happened to the boy that would beat up anyone who bullied me back in elementary and later? The boy who held my hand and made me tell him who gave me those bruises or who dumped my backpack in the pond.” My brother let out a heavy sigh.  
“I was a kid back then. You were my little sister, I had to protect you. One day you just started to get strong enough to take on the world. You didn’t need me anymore.” I let out a snort.  
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You changed and not for the better. I was fifteen, damn it! Mom got treated for cancer and dad just wound up in that wheelchair. And you just left us for a roadtrip with your friends! Not thinking about how we would manage. And don’t tell me it was different, I know you were hurting too but that doesn’t excuse you for leaving us alone. And for protecting your little sister… Were was that protection when those bitches from my class started growing tits and you were more interested in fucking them than protecting me? Where was your protection when that thing with Greg happened? You didn’t even believe me! Hell, you blame me for it happening until today!”, I almost yelled at him again. Everything that had waited right under the surface for so long finally breaking through. Maybe it was because I had told Daryl about it yesterday, maybe it was just because I was so on edge all the time now.  
“Whoa, where is that all coming from? I thought we decided to make up!”, he protested and I just slapped him right across the face.  
“No! You decided that. I agreed to talking, nothing more. I didn’t say that I was forgiving you. And you needed to finally hear this. Because it is true. Every time I would have truly needed my big brother by my side, you were just gone or otherwise occupied or simply didn’t care. You always take and take and take but what do you give back, Adam? I love you. You are family. But I wish T-Dog and Shane hadn’t found you. If that is how it’s going to be from now on with you, I just wish you were dead along with mom and dad…” I didn’t wait for him to respond. I just left him sitting there. I knew that I was harsh, maybe even a little unfair but all he had put me through over the years reached a point where I wouldn’t let him get away with it anymore. Not now, not when his reckless behaviour could endanger the safety of the whole group. Blood or not, it didn’t matter anymore.

“Look who finally shows up!”, T-Dog exclaimed when I entered the cafeteria. He patted the empty seat between him and Glenn and put a plate full of scrambled eggs on the table. With a smile I sat down and started to dig in. Next to me Glenn let out a pained groan.  
“Hangover?”, I asked him.  
“‘Don’t ever ever ever let me drink again.’”, he groaned as an answer and I rubbed his shoulder in comfort. Across the table Rick wasn’t looking too good either and Lori was currently helping him open a bottle of aspirin that Jenner had left for us. I tensed up a little when Shane walked in and straight for the coffee pot, telling Rick he was feeling like shit.  
“‘What the hell happened to you? Your neck?’”, T asked when he spotted the bright scratch marks on Shane. The cop told him that he must have done it in his sleep and I noticed Lori avoiding eye contact with him. He shot me a glance too and I just raised my eyebrows. I wasn’t gonna say anything about what happened last night.  
Only seconds later Jenner entered as well and after Dale and Andrea started on wanting answers again he led us to another room full of monitors and screens. I kept a little to the back of the group and leaned on one of the tables, seeing Adam giving me hurt glances from the other side of the room.  
“Everythin' okay with you two?” I looked to Daryl who leaned against the table next to mine.  
“We will see.”, I answered shortly and looked back at Jenner.  
“‘Give me a playback of TS-19.’”, the doctor said after pushing some buttons and the big screen lit up. It showed the three dimensional scan of a human skull. I crossed my arms and looked at it with interest. Jenner told Vi to give us the internal view and moments later the image changed so we were able to see the brain and it’s activity.  
“‘What are those lights?’”, Shane asked once the image was clear and we could see pulses of light move through the brain and lighten up certain areas on occasion.  
“Electric impulses, transporting information throughout the brain. Memories, basic movements, things you take in. Everything that makes you the person you are.”, I answered fascinated before Jenner had a chance to.  
“Are you a doctor?” he asked curiously and I shook my head.  
“No, just a combat paramedic.” My reply had the scientist shake his head and tell me that there was no thing as ‘just’ a paramedic.  
“But you are right. ‘Those are synapses. Electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death.’” Everyone stared at the screen until Rick spoke up and Jenner confirmed that we were watching the record of someone who had been bitten and infected. He had Vi wind forward to what he called the first event. The electric impulses slowly died down while darkness like black veins spread through the brain until all of the brain was left dark and the patient lay motionless. _Death_!  
“‘It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs. Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be…gone.’”, the scientist confirmed my thoughts and let the computer system wind forward again until the second event.  
I leaned forward and gripped the chair in front of me, excited and scared what we would be shown next.  
“‘The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute… seven seconds.’” I watched as the base of the brain started to flicker in faint red, occasionally spreading into larger parts of the brain but without setting off further electric impulses.  
“It only reignites the brain stem?”, I asked while everyone else was still transfixed on the images in front of us.  
“‘Basically it gets them up and moving.’”, Jenner nodded and I felt my stomach drop. With shaking hands I leaned back against the table behind me. Whatever this thing was, it overtook the body like some parasite.  
“‘...dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part—that doesn’t come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct.’” A gasp went through the room when the now dead patient started moving again. Something suddenly cut right through the brain and the body went motionless again as the brain went black for good this time. Jenner told us that they basically had no idea what this thing was, if it was a virus, a bacteria, some parasite or a fungus. He told us that he had lost contact to all the other facilities like the C.D.C, making clear it wasn’t only happening right here and now.  
“‘Man, I’m gonna get shitfaced drunk again.’”, Daryl exclaimed next to me and shrugged when I looked over.  
“‘Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but…that clock—it’s counting down. What happens at zero?’” I looked over at the digital clock Dale was referring to. I had noticed it upon entering but didn’t pay much attention to it. Jenner told us that it showed how long the generators in the basement would be still running but left without answering Rick’s question of what would happen once the generators stopped.

Part of our group decided to head down to the basement to check out the generators. I felt like I was going to be sick. I still couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right, apart from what Jenner just showed us.  
“C’mon.” I nearly jumped out of my skin when Daryl spoke up. I hadn’t noticed that we were the only people left in the mostly dark room. He nodded his head at me, asking to follow him. I closed my eyes for a second before I pushed off the table and followed beside the hunter back to the cafeteria. Everyone seemed on edge, nobody really sure what they should do with themselves right now. I shot my brother a disapproving look when I saw him sitting on one of the counters with a bottle of wine in hand, another already empty next to him.  
“You gotta be kidding me.”, I scoffed and left for my room. I was well aware that everyone had their own way of coping but getting drunk wasn’t the solution. Reaching the small room I grabbed my backpack and stuffed my few belongings inside.  
“What are you doin’?” I looked at the door and brushed some hair out of my face.  
“Getting ready to leave. I don’t know what happens once that countdown is over but I got a bad feeling about this. And I sure as hell don’t want to find out if I am right, so unlike my brother I am not gonna get too drunk to walk straight. Jenner is holding something back.” Daryl hummed with the bottle of whiskey in his hand.  
“Did the air conditioning just stop?” I held up my hand and slowly nodded.  
“Not weird at all…”, I mumbled.  
“‘What’s going on? Why is everything turned off?’”, Daryl poked his head out of my room as Jenner passed by but got no answer other than the liquor taken out of his hand. The scientist mumbled something about energy being prioritised and we slowly followed him. The ill feeling in my guts only grew stronger.  
“‘Hey, man, I’m talking to you. What do you mean it’s shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?’” Daryl kept following and questioning the doctor, getting angrier with every question left unanswered.  
It wasn’t until Rick came back from the basement that Jenner answered to someone and told us that since there was only half an hour left on the clock the only priority was to keep the computers running. We were back in the room with all the computers and the clock, the scientist finally giving the liquor back to Daryl who shot him an angry glare. He then told us that the last ones to hold up were the french, that they had believed to be close to a solution when they ran out of fuel. Rick started to give orders that everyone should get their stuff and that we were leaving when Vi spoke up, telling it was now thirty minutes to decontamination.  
Right when we made the first steps towards the doors back up and out of the compound the doors slid shut with a hiss. I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my heart beat like crazy. _I knew it_!  
“‘No. Did you just lock us in? He just locked us in!’”, Glenn exclaimed and everyone whirled around towards the scientist who told us that he was now broadcasting. To whom I didn’t know or care. Everyone started shouting, except Daryl. He went straight for Jener and started insulting him and tried to get a hold of him.  
Rick and Shane tried to push the furious hunter off and back when he made to attack Jenner with the bottle still in his hand. Afraid someone might get hurt I dropped my backpack and pushe between Rick and the hunter.  
“Daryl, please stop!” His eyes shot down to me and he stopped pushing against my hands on him at least a little bit. He still tried getting around me though until Jenner finally let slip what decontamination at zero minutes meant. It meant the whole place would go up in flames. I swallowed hard as images of Napalm being dropped over Atlanta washed over my brain. Daryl immediately noticed the change when I let go of him the second he threw his bottle of liquor against the sealed doors.  
“Rachel?” I shook my head and looked up at him, the horror probably evident in my eyes. Daryl’s blue eyes hardened as he focused back on the scientist.  
“‘Open the damn door!’”, he hollered while T-Dog tossed him an axe and together with Shane he tried to smash down the doors with little success. Chaos broke loose when Jenner tried to convince Andrea and the others around him that going up in flames after two seconds in here was better than to fight the inevitable out there. Daryl was ready to smash the scientists brains in by now and was quickly restrained and relieved of the axe. I moved in front of him when he tried to rush forward again. He nearly knocked me over but stopped right in front of me.  
“Get outta my way! I swear I’m gonna knock ya on yer ass! Why’re ya protectin’ him, huh? Ya wanna end up as a roasted chick?! Thought ya were better than that. Ya just as weak as the rest!” His words didn’t touch me. I understood he was angry and scared and probably didn’t mean a word he was throwing in my face.  
“I’m not protecting him. I’m doing this for you!”, I yelled back. I couldn’t say who was more surprised about those words, him or me.  
“‘Wouldn’t it be kinder, more compassionate just to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?’” I turned to see Jenner was now addressing Carol who held her crying daughter close and now it was my turn to get angry.  
“Don’t you dare speak to her! You know nothing! What she survived to protect her daughter. She is a kid! She deserves a chance to make it out there rather than to be burned alive you pathetic…” A loud snap threw me back on my ass and I held my left cheek in surprise and shock.  
“Rachel!” Sophia wrigeled out of her mother’s arms and ran to me while I stared up at my brother.  
“Don’t you get it, Rach? He is right. Why fight every day to stay alive or find shelter? It could all be over in a second or two. No long suffering until your brain finally gives out. Just… gone.” I shook my head and felt the tears on my face as the girl still held on tight to me.  
“You don’t know what you are saying. You are drunk.”, I tried to reason.  
“No. You are wrong. You tell yourself the same lie over and over again until you believe it. Just like with Greg.” I shook my head violently, begging him to shut up and see reason. In the background I faintly noticed Shane and Rick yelling at Jenner and each other and Daryl pounding on the sealed doors again. I tried to fight the tears, to stay strong, to find a way out of this. I shuffled to my feet, pulling Sophia up with me and beckoned Carol over as well.  
“You are wrong, Adam. We can make it out there. We can survive if we stay together. You can make it. I know you are scared, so am I. But this isn’t the way. Mom and dad…”  
“Shut up! Will you stop talking like our parents are still alive and caring?! They are dead! Eaten by those things if they were lucky or tearing apart innocent people themselves right now! You saw what happened to this patient. There is no cure, no way out of this. You know that the military is gone!” I covered Sophia’s ears, not wanting her to hear any more of this.

Suddenly the hissing noise of the doors was heard and relief washed over me.  
“‘Come on!’”, Daryl yelled behind us and everyone grabbed their belongings to rush through the doors. Everyone except for Jacqui, Andrea and Adam. T-Dog started yelling at the black woman but she wouldn’t have it. I could still hear Daryl yelling for everybody to move and Shane bellowing commands as well. I made my way over to the door before I stopped next to Daryl. He gave me a questioning look when I shoved my backpack and bow in his hands.  
“I need to get my brother. You go. Leave me if I am not out in time for you to leave.” He grabbed my arm hard.  
“That’s insane! He just hit ya in the face! He ain’t willin’ ta fight, so leave him!” I shook my head and gave him a smile.  
“You would do the same if it was Merle. Take care of Sophia if I don’t make it.” I pried off his hand and jogged back to my brother.  
“We’re going, asshole.” He looked at me and shook his head.  
“I’m staying. You go with your brand new family.” I felt like punching him in his stupid face bt knew it wouldn’t help.  
“For once in your life, do the right thing and stop being so fucking selfish!” I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his seat. He stumbled two feet forward and looked at me.  
“You can’t make me!” He was yanked back out of nowhere and I saw Daryl and T-Dog had both grabbed him and were dragging him off.  
“Yer sister’s right. Ya wanna make sure she stays alive, do it yerself dumbass.”, growled the hunter while ragging my brother along. When we reached the lobby the big front made of glass was shattered to pieces and our people started to carefully climb out.  
“How…” T-Dog shot me a look that told me he would tell me later how they managed to break the glass. When we reached the windows, T was the first to leave. Taking our belongings as we handed them over to him. Daryl was next which left us siblings on the inside.  
“Adam, please! I love you, okay? Please, let’s get out of here together and find a way to be a family again.” My brother looked at me for a moment before he let out a sigh and nodded. Since his leg was still far from healed I helped him through the window and Daryl helped him get away. With a last look back I jumped over to the other side only for a searing pain to cut through my right shoulder blade. I let out a loud scream when my feet barely touched the ground but my shirt still stuck to some of the shattered glass. I tried to get free but failed.  
“Stop movin’.”, Daryl’s gruff voice had me stop my movements. Shocked, I felt the cold touch of a blade against my skin and before I could protest the ripping of fabrik. I fell to my knees and was well aware that Daryl would be able to see what was normally hidden under most of my bra. I froze up. Nobody had seen the scars in years and it made me scared. I knew I had to move but I couldn’t.  
“Move a’ready!” He grabbed me again and pulled me with him towards his truck. He shoved me in and followed. He pushed me down and I felt his breath hot in my neck only a second before a loud explosion drowned out every other noise. When he finally got off my back, the hunter just slammed his foot down and sped off after the rest of our group, leaving behind a pile of nothing where the C.D.C. once was.

“What the hell?!”, he screamed at me. All I could do was stare at him. I wrapped my arms around myself as if to hold myself together and felt my walls crumble down. _He saw the scars_! It was the only thing I could think of while the tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t stop them, nor could I stop my trembling. I kept hearing the tearing of fabric and felt the knife over and over again.  
“Shit…”, he muttered and carefully reached out to me.  
“Don’t touch me!”, I screeched at him and tried to put as much distance as possible between the hunter and me. He gave me a short look, that told me that he had come to some conclusion already. Putting one and one together understanding washed over his face as he looked back on the road.  
“Yer backpack’s with yer brother. Should be an old shirt of mine back there to cover ya up.” I gave him a worried look before carefully looking to the backseat.  
“I ain’t gonna touch ya if that’s what yer afraid of. Won’t tell anybody ‘bout this.” I gave him a short nod. After putting on the dark blue button-up I curled up in the passenger’s seat and just stared out of the window.  
“Thank you.”, I whispered against the cold glass, not sure if he even heard me as we left Atlanta behind again.


End file.
